Do you really have to ask?

[Side note - I'm sure it's been pretty obvious that much of my blog now consists of recaps of the various television shows that I watch. Some might have noticed that the usual onslaught of show recaps has been absent of late. Yep, I've got a number of recaps to write, but I haven't had a lot of time, and recent national and personal events have taken a lot of my time and energy and drained me from the seemingly easy task of writing recaps. I hope to get the backlog done this weekend. Depending on whether you give a rat's ass about what shows I watch and/or what I think of them, there's your promise/warning.]



So, today, I decided to address really dumb questions. Now, we all know that it's much easier to be clear-headed when you're looking in from the outside, but aren't there some situations that are so frickin' obvious that you'd have to be Stevie Wonder not to see them?

I read a couple of the advice columns on a regular basis. Some topics I find interesting, some are just good train-wreck value.


Here's a question in a recent Dear Margo column.

DEAR MARGO: I recently got engaged to a man I have been with for five years, since I was 18 -- he is five years older. During those years, he told his friends that he would need to be drunk to get married. And ... he told me he is going to get wasted with his friends on the big day. I informed him that if he showed up drunk, I would leave him at the altar and reschedule. He said I could take the ring and sell it and not waste the next few years. I love him with all my heart, but I am not sure my heart can take much more verbal abuse. He wouldn't even listen to the rationale behind my comment. He often storms off, never apologizes, and then suddenly acts as if nothing happened. Was I wrong to say that?

--- ENGAGED OR NOT?

Your fiance tells you that he needs to be drunk to marry you? Strike One. He says you can sell your engagement ring and not waste the next few years? Strike Two. He storms off, never apologizes and then pretends nothing happened? Strike Three!

How does one love a man who treats you this way? When I read the letter, I think my brain stopped at "I would leave him at the altar". My brain could not fathom that having your husband-to-be treat you that way on your wedding day would merit RESCHEDULING THE WEDDING.

I think this is a really stupid person, but I also feel sorry for this person because she apparently has had something happen in her life where she feels she is completely worthless and doesn't deserve anyone who actually treats her well.


And for good measure, here's Dear Margo's answer.

DEAR ENG: If you find him verbally abusive now, just give it a few years. Any guy who brags to his buddies that he would have to be drunk to get married -- then plans to see to it -- is not what I would consider marriage material. If his regard for you is such that he can't see why you would refuse to marry a drunken guy at the altar, then you need to call it off. By all means, sell the ring, and do not let him talk his way back into your life. There could be no clearer indication of things to come. There is too much wrong with this man, so consider yourself lucky to get away from him without the benefit of lawyers.