Saturday, May 23, 2009

Brent Spiner's Twitter story

So, it started with me following Wil Wheaton. And then I found out that LeVar Burton was on, so I started following him. And then, he APPARENTLY got Brent Spiner to join, so I started following him. I've been a fan of Brent's from his Data days, and he's also got a wicked sense of humour, which I enjoy, so his tweets were fun to read. He was going into rehearsals for "Man of La Mancha", so he would tweet about rehearsals and shows. And he'd tweet random things about his life, about his son, about what he was going to have for breakfast. Yeah, I know, some of that sounds mundane, but like I said, he has a wicked sense of humour and injected a weird twist to the mundane. And then he started with some weird tweets. And they continued. And continued. And continued. I will admit that they annoyed me for the longest time because I missed hearing about his life. And it took me a really long time to figure out that he was just telling a story. But trying to follow a story, one tweet at a time, that spans a period of just over a month, is pretty hard. Now that I've had a chance to read the entire story at once, it's actually pretty fun. I'd love to know if he'd had any of it made up ahead of time or how much he was just winging it day to day.

Brent talks about being in re-hab, which ends up turning out to be a mental institution, and then he breaks out and tries to get back into acting, but while he's staying at a hotel, he meets the mysterious Amber, and in true film noir fashion, Amber is not what she appears to be, as Brent is drawn into her web. I particularly liked Brent's reference to "Double Indemnity" as well as Hitchcock. Foreshadowing!

Brent hasn't returned to regularly tweeting yet, so I miss that, but for your enjoyment, I am duplicating his Twitter story below. I've not made any changes, so any typos or weird spacing or whatever are completely his. It's a bit of a long story, but I think it's worth sticking with it.


Brent's story begins on March 28, 2009.

I'm thinking of going into rehab. I'm not addicted to anything, but I think it's good way to jumpstart an acting career.
5:40 PM Mar 28th

I'm now writing from the Betty White Clinic. Group session. We have to say what we think is wrong with us. I'm saying, "bad agent".
11:34 AM Mar 29th

Watched "Family Guy" in the rec room with the other prisoners...er, patients. They seem to think I'd get more work if I was a cartoon.
9:15 PM Mar 29th

Looks like I'm not the only one here with this idea. I saw James Woods playing ping-pong last night.
9:18 AM Mar 30th

Had my first solo therapy session in the Allen Ludden, "Password" room. Cute therapist. Couldn't decide whether to give or receive.
10:45 AM Mar 30th

Thankfully, that session ended before the "lightening round". I'm going to take a nap now.
12:24 PM Mar 30th

Refused to take my pills. They put me in a straight jacket. Am typing this with my nose. Feel so goooooooood.
9:09 PM Mar 30th

Woke up in a fog and realized...Hey, they don't give pills in rehab! And they don't put you in straight jackets! Where am I? Helllllppppp!!!
9:04 AM Mar 31st

Not in rehab. Must've been dreaming. Told I've had a breakdown. In institution. Okay, should be good enough to get me on Oprah or The View.
9:30 AM Mar 31st

Thanks for all your good wishes. Apparently, my entire life since "Nemesis" has been a dream. Family, friends, everything. Got to get out.
3:56 PM Mar 31st

It's clear to me now. Nothing here is as I thought it was. Well, James Woods is still here playing ping-pong.
4:04 PM Mar 31st

Woods asked if I wanted to play. I was going to, then he said he didn't like "Nemesis". Not speaking to him. Or anyone else for that matter.
5:09 PM Mar 31st

Movie night here. "Girl Interrupted". Woods says he used to be married to Angelina. I don't believe him.
8:26 PM Mar 31st

Spent the morning in Crafts. Made something out of paper mache. It's either a pig or a fish. Hey maybe I could do this when I get out.
7:42 AM Apr 1st

Doc says I may get out in the next day or so. Suggest another shock treatment. Kind of enjoyed the last one. If I remember correctly.
8:51 AM Apr 1st

While I was catatonic, Patrick, bless him, came to visit. He read a selection of sonnets for the inmates. When he left, they were catatonic
4:44 PM Apr 1st

Unless it was an April Fool's joke, the doc says I get out tomorrow. I'm watching TNG with my friends here. "Schizoid Man". Apropos.
9:35 PM Apr 1st

Woods now making everyone watch, "Once Upon a Time in America". The long version. Everyone asleep but me. Hid my pills under my tongue.
9:52 PM Apr 1st

Doc now says next week. No way. Bribing a guard to get me out. He's a ST fan. Autographed photo and original Galoob action figure should do.
10:22 AM Apr 2nd

I keep few Galoobs handy for emergencies. This may require one with a spotted face. Guard says there will be a key in my pudding tonight.
11:27 AM Apr 2nd

Never looked forward to dinner as much as I am right now. For one thing, I'm soon going to be outta here. For anthoer, I'm oddly hungry.
3:42 PM Apr 2nd

For those who keep asking, here's how it works. Click on my picture and read a few back posts. Geez, don't I have enough to deal with?
3:50 PM Apr 2nd

Great. The chef is on twitter. He's a company man. He's onto me. No pudding tonight. I hope the key's not in the mashed potatoes.
5:01 PM Apr 2nd

No more tweets till I'm free. I'm breaking out of this joint. I'll update you from the other side. Hopefully on Entertainment Tonight.
5:09 PM Apr 2nd

Dissolved my pill stash in the guard's late night Bosco. Switched clothes with him. Literally strolled out of the joint. Free at last...
9:22 PM Apr 3rd

Hitchhiked to a gas station in Flagstaff. Enjoying a Dr. Pepper and a Slim Jim. Best meal in seven years. Hollywood, here I come.
9:35 PM Apr 3rd

Feeling a little sad. Lonely for the Betty White. Miss some of my friends. Toothless Ted, Cowgirl Clara, Brittany, well, everyone but Woods.
10:00 AM Apr 4th

Almost home. A beautiful day! Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Ahhhh. Today is the first Monday of the rest of my life!
11:20 AM Apr 4th

Foreclosure sign on my house? Thought I was well invested. Calling my financial investor, Bernie. If I can borrow a quarter.
11:52 AM Apr 4th

No pay phones? Had to use a neighbor's. Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Long distance. Had to give him action figure. Running out.
2:35 PM Apr 4th

The bad news: The market crashed, Bernie's in jail, and I'm broke. The good news: My agent has dropped me. Breakdowns aren't marketable.
3:18 PM Apr 4th

Don't worry folks. I'm not down. If there's one thing I learned in rehab...well, I didn't learn anything there. But I'm an eternal optimist.
3:32 PM Apr 4th

Called my friend Dave. He lent me enough for a month's rent at a transient hotil in Hollywood. Same place I stayed when I first came here.
8:08 PM Apr 4th

They say the room next door was where Joplin OD'd. Sorry to drop the name,@ Greggreenburg, whoever the hell you are.
8:09 PM Apr 4th

Obviously meant hotel. Not a bad place. At least I have company. A charming spider who hovers just above my pillow.
8:18 PM Apr 4th

Well, as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". And what better day than Tuesday to go looking for a new agent!
9:25 PM Apr 4th

Hey, today is Sunday! Why didn't anyone tell me??? I'll look for an agent tomorrow. I'll start with the ones who are in walking distance.
9:52 AM Apr 5th

Again, please don't think I'm despondent. I know something great is going to happen this week. May has always been a lucky month for me.
10:33 AM Apr 5th

A friend tells me my breakdown happened at a ST con. Got confused and thought I was my character. Stopped using contractions. Now I am fine.
1:31 PM Apr 5th

Interesting crowd at this hotel. Some at the beginning of their careers and some at the end. I am sort of both.
4:44 PM Apr 5th

Had a nice chat with a young actress at the pool. She says they're making a new Star Trek movie! See, things are looking up already!
7:37 PM Apr 5th

Colored my hair dark brown. Have to stay competitive when I go see agents. I have to say, took at least three years off.
7:57 AM Apr 6th

Recharged with a bag of donut holes and a cup of Ovaltine. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Watch out world, here I come!
9:28 AM Apr 6th

Was held up at gun point as I walked to agents. No money. Took my shirt. Went to agent without a shirt. Don't think he was impressed.
8:12 PM Apr 6th

He did tell me the new ST movie is already in the can. Guess I'm not in it. Directed by a Mr. Abraham or something. Try again tomorrow.
8:17 PM Apr 6th

Agent called. Wanted to know if I'd do Sci-fi porn. A film called "Live from Uranis". I guess the shirtless thing worked. Considering it.
1:58 PM Apr 7th

Could use the cash, but despite your encouragement, I passed. Like Data, too old for this job. Do they do Senior's porn, anyway?
3:21 PM Apr 7th

Going to see my first agent Monty Gold in the morning. Better have more nourishing breakfast. Chocolate donut holes. Lots of anti-oxidents.
7:03 PM Apr 7th

T.V. doesn't work here. Said they'd fix it yesterday. A few books others have left. Think I'll read, "Day of the Locust". Love nature books
7:15 PM Apr 7th

Monty is semi- retired but keeps an office and one toe in the business. Says he might have something interesting for me. Very exited.
10:44 AM Apr 8th

Pardon my speling. I meant excited.
10:48 AM Apr 8th

The walls here are paper thin. People next door are listening to "The Knife Show". Wow, you can get a thousand knives for a hundred bucks.
10:56 AM Apr 8th

Monty called. Wants to pay me to march in his grandson's Bar Mitzvah made up as Data. I don't know, I'm thinking about it.
6:45 PM Apr 8th

Yelling and crying from next door. Two women. Interesting character studies, but I prefer sleep. Might have to talk to them.
6:50 AM Apr 9th

Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th

Told Monty I'd wear the make-up but no uniform. Agreed to tallis and yarmulke. Asked Mike Westmore to make me up. Hopefully, he remembers.
11:06 AM Apr 9th

Can't sleep. Someone left a Hagadah, so I'm reading that. Four questions. Fifth, no noise next door last night? Till now. Lots of yelling.
5:16 AM Apr 10th

This will be a good Friday. Monty sent advance to buy a suit. Suggested place called Zindler's. A $100 for a coat and ten pairs of pants.
6:51 AM Apr 10th

UPS came with a package for the woman next door. Asked if I could give it to her when she returned. It's from the Knife show. Gulp.
11:30 AM Apr 10th

Opened package. Couldn't resist. Not a thousand knives, just one big one. Gulp again. Gotta find some tape. Her name is Amber. Nice.
12:00 PM Apr 10th

Delivered retaped box. She opened the door a crack, snatched it, muttered"thanks", then slammed it. Noticed a face like an ice cream sundae.
7:36 AM Apr 11th

Don't think Amber recognized me. That's good. Seemed like a Southern twang in her terse two words. Redhead. Make that sundae, strawberry.
10:37 AM Apr 11th

Bought suit at Zindler's. Charcoal. Ten pairs of pants. All colors. Only one fits. Fortunately, the gray. Should go well with Data make-up.
11:49 AM Apr 11th

Rode the bus home. Sat next to a woman with a parrot. It kept saying, "Meshugenah! Meshugenah!". Didn't know whether it meant me or her.
1:18 PM Apr 11th

Easter. Staying in bed all day. Don't feel like rising.
6:17 AM Apr 12th

Got up to go get a paper. Box of Peeps and a note at the door. "Sorry for being so rude." Amber.
7:52 AM Apr 12th

Was about to go properly introduce myself when I heard more screaming next door. The good kind. Sort of exciting. I love Easter.
7:56 AM Apr 12th

Quiet now knocked on door. Nothing. Left note. " Come by later. I'm serving Ding Dongs.
1:32 PM Apr 12th

Guess she's not into chocolate enveloped devil's food with a cream filling. Ate them all myself. Went into coma. Woke up with Ding Dong face
6:25 AM Apr 13th

Message light blinking. "Meet me at Yamashiro. Sevenish." Hmm, I thought there was a look in her eye as she slammed the door in my face.
7:57 AM Apr 13th from web

I'm definitely going. I'll wear my Bar Mitzvah jacket. Having trouble deciding which pair of pants. Maybe the chartreuse.
11:52 AM Apr 13th

I'm reminded of a Hitchcock quote. "If you see a gun in the first act, it's bound to go off by act three." I wonder if that goes for knives?
2:04 PM Apr 13th

Okay, okay, Chekov. But Hitchcok must've read it. Got another call from the porno agent. Now they're offering a three picture deal.
2:11 PM Apr 13th

"Amber Jordan, nice name". "My real name's Amber Hamburger but I changed it when I decided to be an actress." "Good choice."
6:07 AM Apr 14th

Another woman joined us, Bobbette. Amber's girlfriend. They're going through a rough patch. Bobbette"s been seeing her husband again.
6:19 AM Apr 14th

BTW, I passed on the porno. You have to supply your own wardrobe, and mine is woefully lacking.
6:20 AM Apr 14th

Drank too much last night. Bobette paid. Married to a rich dinosaur. Invited to his swankienda for lunch tomorrow. Interesting girls.
10:58 AM Apr 14th

FYI They loved my chartreuse pants. I'll wear the orange one's to lunch. They didn't recognize me. Told them my name is Norman Maine.
11:29 AM Apr 14th

Bob (that's what Amber calls her) sent a limo for us. Feels like the good ol days. Met the dino. About eighty. A zillionaire. Now I get it.
2:06 PM Apr 15th

Harry Boik (I think it's Berk,really) wore a plaid 50's bathing suit at lunch by the pool. Said my pants were absoid. Look who's talking.
3:36 PM Apr 15th

The girls ran off and left Harry and me alone. Smoked some huge Cuban's. Said he bought a couple million pre-embargo. Think I like this guy.
3:40 PM Apr 15th

"What kinda woik do you do, Norm?" "I'm between engagements". "I need a driver. Interested?" "I'll let you know, Mr. Boik." "Call me Harry".
4:42 PM Apr 15th

Harry Berg. Came here in '49 with $35. Won sixty thou in a poker game. Opened talent agency. Sold it for 60 million. Self made man. Me like.
8:57 AM Apr 16th

Tested to see if he knew who I really am. "Harry, what do you think of this Star Trek thing?" "Feh!" Could be the start of something big.
9:01 AM Apr 16th

Jason Gold becomes a man tomorrow. Confirmed with Mike to meet me at Temple. Probably wear a yellowish shirt in case the make-up gets on it.
10:33 AM Apr 16th

Started exercising again. Gotta look good for the next phase. Swam width of the pool. Well, halfway. Twenty feet is longer than it looks.
12:23 PM Apr 16th

Amber swam by. Very happy. Got her first gig. Deodorant commercial. Just underarms but a start. She looks great in a bikini. Bob's lucky.
12:34 PM Apr 16th

Going out to celebrate with Amber and Bob. Feel I'm betraying Harry, but their schtick is really none of my business. Besides, I eat better.
5:01 PM Apr 16th

Guy came to our table for my autograph. A&B asked why. Told them I look just like an actor on ST. They've never seen it. It's all ironic.
10:38 PM Apr 16th

Great night for all. The antics next door literally shook the entire building. And I got to listen. Sometimes it's the little things.
8:56 AM Apr 17th

Mike made me up in the bathroom. Very embarrassing. I looked in mirror. Oy. In my suit I look like Jimmy Stewart in Greatest Show On Earth.
7:33 PM Apr 17th

An old cocker came out of a stall. He looked at me with a very quizzical look."What's that on your face, egg?" "Exactly".
7:35 PM Apr 17th

Marched with Jason and seven of his buddies. Heard a man say, "Big deal, we had Solo from the original series at my kid's Bar Mitzvah."
8:21 PM Apr 17th

The rabbi is a big ST fan. Sermon was about how you can go wrong in life. Like the way we did when we killed Data in Nemesis. Sheesh.
8:23 PM Apr 17th

I am feeling strange again. I do not know what is happening. Hailing frequencies...out.
8:24 PM Apr 17th

Last night: Posed for pictures with the family. Uncle Shelly refused to stand next to me. Rabbi asked could I get him tix to the new movie.
9:31 AM Apr 18th

Split a piece of herring w/Monty. Introduced me to his mentor, Harry Berg. Gulp. Harry: "You remind me of someone...are you PeeWee Herman?"
9:33 AM Apr 18th

Spent the day in fetal position. Amber came by. Wanted to know what was wrong. Told her I was just having a Viet Nam flashback. Hugged me.
2:33 PM Apr 18th

Woke up next to Amber. Sweet. Don't know what happened but she was wearing my tallis. Hope she doesn't tell Bob. No more Bar Mitzvah's.
10:29 AM Apr 19th

Went to Denny's with A&B. Don't think Amber said anything to Bob re:last night. Maybe nothing happened. But Amber keeps looking at me funny.
8:43 PM Apr 19th

I can't believe everything is so foggy. I must've drunk too much Mogan David at the Bar Mitzvah. I've got to confront Amber...tomorrow.
8:53 PM Apr 19th

"Amber, I just don't remember what happened last night. I hope I didn't do anything I should be sorry..." "No." She smiled enigmatically.
9:24 AM Apr 20th

"Off to my first job, Norman. I'm not really looking forward to it". "Hey, it's a foot in the door, Amber". "Well, an armpit, really."
10:10 AM Apr 20th

Inspired by Amber. Sometimes we just have to work, like it or not. Called Harry. Agreed to be his driver. Start tomorrow. I'll wear a hat.
10:49 AM Apr 20th

Concerned about Amber. Excited about her first job, then depressed. Seemed to be into Bob, now me. I don't know, maybe it's all in my mind.
11:16 AM Apr 20th

Decided to get away from it all and go to a movie. Going to see a classic, "Double Indemnity". Boy, they don't make 'em like that anymore.
5:20 PM Apr 20th

Close call. Milk dud stuck in my throat. Fortunately, usher knew the Heimlich. A big fan. Autographed a box of Junior Mints for him.
9:42 PM Apr 20th

"Mr. Spiner, wake up, it's time to take your pills" "No, nurse, I..." AHHH! I woke up in a cold sweat. Dreamed I was in the clinic. Whew!
8:35 AM Apr 21st

After the Milk Dud episode, restricting myself to liquids. Go next door to use Amber's blender. Make a donut shake. Gotta keep strength up.
9:34 AM Apr 21st

No answer. Door ajar. Peeked in. "Amber...?" She wont mind me using her blender. Besides, now I can add breaking and entering to my resume.
10:19 AM Apr 21st

Guess it's not really B&E. More like unlawful entry or trespassing. Whatever, it's sure to impress casting agents. I'll leave a note.
10:35 AM Apr 21st

Found paper. Writing on it. 1.Dispose of knife. 2. Dispose of body. 3. Clean area thoroughly. 4.Get fuschia highlights. My head is spinning.
10:51 AM Apr 21st

Amber's note has me freaked. Maybe she's writing a novel or something. Maybe. Called Harry. Postponed job till tomorrow. Too dizzy to drive.
11:01 AM Apr 21st

In the fetal position again. In the dark. I thought she was attracted to me. Should I be scared? Let me answer that question. I already am.
12:17 PM Apr 21st

Monty called. Has audition for a new show. No lines. Possibly recurring. Great. The walls are shaking again. Safe for tonight...I think.
10:31 PM Apr 21st

"Monty, what's the no line character's name?" "Let's see...uh, DEAD BODY." "And it recurs?" "That's what it says. You're perfect for it."
8:41 AM Apr 22nd

Audition tomorrow. Today, real job. Went to Army Surplus. Bought military hat w/visor. Looks good. Bus to Harry's. Should be there by noon.
9:41 AM Apr 22nd

Made it to Harry's a little early. He told me to get familiar with the car. 1958 Mercedes. Beauty. I'll should look great behind the wheel.
11:42 AM Apr 22nd

Drove Harry to his club. " Norm, you think I'm too old for Bobbette? I'm 81, she's 28." "Nah, Harry. Anything under sixty years is fine."
12:13 PM Apr 22nd

Harry burst into tears. "She used to love the sex. Ever since that damn Amber came into our lives, nothing! I think they want to kill me!"
12:40 PM Apr 22nd

Harry whimpered through a round of golf. Took him home. "Say something to make me feel better, Norm". "Could I have the day off tomorrow?"
1:40 PM Apr 22nd

Quiet next door. Thank God. Lying in bed. Working on my audition.
8:38 PM Apr 22nd

Knock at door. Amber. "Norman, I'm scared. Someone's been in my apt. I found this. (paper with the list). Can I stay with you tonight?"
8:58 PM Apr 22nd

"Norman,who could've left this strange note in my room?" "I don't know...'clean thoroughly'...maybe it was housekeeping." "Hold me." "Okay."
9:27 PM Apr 22nd

Amber looks like an angel when she sleeps. Maybe she didn't write the note. Maybe it was the maid. Folks, I'm just as confused as you are.
9:03 AM Apr 23rd

Kissed her gently so I wouldn't wake her. Crept out of the room to go to my audition. Hope she's here when I get back. Wonder where Bob is?
9:56 AM Apr 23rd

On the floor in the audition. Pretended to be dead. Tried to clear my mind of all thought. Images of Amber. Became aroused. Not good.
11:13 AM Apr 23rd

Called Monty for audition feedback. "You didn't get the part. They said you were not believable. That you were wooden." I have to agree.
12:12 PM Apr 23rd

Trying not to get discouraged about acting career. But, gee, I got turned down for the part of a dead body. What's next, inanimate objects?
2:14 PM Apr 23rd

Took a nap. Knock on the door. My heart leapt. " Hey bab..." It was Bob. "Norman, can I talk to you? I think Amber's seeing someone else"!"
9:25 PM Apr 23rd

"Why do you say that, Bob?" "She didn't answer her phone last night. She's been distant. There's someone else." "Nooo, I don't think...". Oy
9:40 PM Apr 23rd

I was finally able to reassure her. Sometimes I'm a pretty good actor. And liar. From the sounds next door, all is well. For them.
9:55 PM Apr 23rd

Monty: " An offer. A producer who was at the Bar Mitzvah wants you to come to his grandson's Bris. No make-up. You're not a Mohel, are you"?
8:55 AM Apr 24th

Amber and Bob came with Harry's car. "Let's go to breakfast! You drive. And wear your hat." They giggled in the back the whole way there.
10:19 AM Apr 24th

Felt kind of sorry for myself, but sorrier for Harry. If A&B are thinking about him at all, it can't be good. At least I get free pancakes.
10:32 AM Apr 24th

" Norm, I need a scene partner for acting class. Wanna exercise your chops?" "What"s it from? "Carnal Knowledge". Our eyes met. She smiled.
11:25 AM Apr 24th

Dropped the girls and went to work. Harry wasn't feeling well. Stomach cramps. " I must've eaten a bad tongue sandwich. Come back tomorrow".
12:13 PM Apr 24th

" Anything I can do before I go, Harry?". "If you see Bobette, ask her where she got that sandwich. Farcacta thing is burning my kishka's".
3:11 PM Apr 24th

Knock knock . "Hi, Bob went home. Ready to rehearse our scene, Norm?" "Sure, did you bring the script?" "I thought we could just improvise."
11:03 PM Apr 24th

What a night. Amber and I spent better part of it doing "sense memory" exercises. She really is very talented. I want to know her better.
9:47 AM Apr 25th

She's really an All-American girl. From Chicago. Her father is in the meat packing business. Kinda funny. Mr. Hamburger makes hot dogs.
10:08 AM Apr 25th

Made a date for later. Off to Harry's to see if I can borrow the car for the evening. Starting to feel happy for the first time in years.
11:58 AM Apr 25th

Harry's. Surrounded by police cars, ambulance. Lights flashing. A stretcher was being carried from the house. Body covered with a blanket.
1:16 PM Apr 25th

I started to pull back the blanket. Cop:"Who are you?" "A friend". "Pretty gruesome. Knife wounds. You sure?" I nodded. Lifted blanket. Bob.
1:20 PM Apr 25th

In house. Harry in bed, tube in nose. " My baby goil is gone, Norman! Why? Why?!" "I'm so sorry, Harry". Poor Bob. Poor Harry... Poor me.
3:13 PM Apr 25th

"I'm Det. Martinez. No murder weapon. We'll find it. And the killer. Don't leave town, Mr. Maine. Hey...you know who you look like like?"
3:54 PM Apr 25th

"You rest, Harry. I'll come back tomorrow. If there's anything I can do...Uh, say...I don't suppose you'll be using your c...oh never mind".
4:03 PM Apr 25th

Does Amber know what's happened? She'll be devastated. Unless she...No. I don't want to believe it. But then...the note.
9:27 PM Apr 25th

No one home next door. Several hours pass. Amber said she was going to yoga. That was this morning. She must be really limber by now.
9:36 PM Apr 25th

I'm going to try to sleep. Feel uneasy. Put a chair against the door. And a refrigerator. I'll deal with this when I wake up...if I wake up.
9:58 PM Apr 25th

Morning. Whew! Slept in a fitful fetal. Dreamt about Bob. She was pointing at her head. Wonder what that means? Alev a shalom, Bob.
10:06 AM Apr 26th

Amber still not home. Such a sweet kid. Scared for her, worried for Harry,too. Better get over there pronto. As pronto as a city bus can go.
10:23 AM Apr 26th

Expected the nurse to answer the door, but Harry did. He looks different. Oh, his hair is kind of pink or red...fushcia. "Come in, Brent".
11:18 AM Apr 26th

"Nice dye job, Harry". "You're one to talk, kid." "What've you done with Amber?" A familiar voice. "Don't worry, Normie, I'm copacetic."
12:30 PM Apr 26th

"Amber...? "Haven't you hoid, kid, love is funny." His arm slid around her. She kissed his cheek. There was a spot of fuschia on her lips.
1:37 PM Apr 26th

"Why did you kill Bob?" "We had to. She'd have never let him go. She'd have taken all our...his money. Fortunately for us, you came along".
2:17 PM Apr 26th

"I knew who you were from the start, Brent. I saw all TNG movies twice. Except "Nemesis". That one sucked. And I knew you opened the box."
2:43 PM Apr 26th

"Your prints are all over that knife." "My prints aren't on file." "Don't matter, kid, they match the ones on my steering wheel. Run along".
3:19 PM Apr 26th

"You'll never get away with this." " Martinez finds that knife tomorrow." "There's just one thing I have to say... 'Nemesis' did not suck!"
3:26 PM Apr 26th

I ran. Fast as my legs would carry me. Which is slow. Back to the apt/hotel, gathered my few things and checked out. It was awful, but home.
8:25 PM Apr 26th

Into the night. Where to go? Wish I was back at the Betty White. 'Nemesis', good or bad? Who gives a shit!! Sorry...I'm a little strung out.
8:35 PM Apr 26th

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam Myoho Renge Kyo...Nam M...
9:02 PM Apr 26th

Got a cheap room. The Taranchula Arms. Sink/toilet combo. Watching t.v. 'COPS'. Hey, maybe this show will be my return to series television.
9:11 AM Apr 27th

Watching 'Jerry Springer' now. Woman married to proctologist, cheating with circus clown. Makes me feel slightly better about my life.
9:30 AM Apr 27th

Bought wheels from a guy in a coffee shop. I think it used to be some kind of Toyota. Can sleep in it if I have to. If I can remove my legs.
4:22 PM Apr 27th

Call me crazy, but I miss Amber. Going to drive to the beach tonight. Nothing like a little salt air to clear the mind. What's left of it.
4:45 PM Apr 27th

The Pacific at night. A dark and inviting mistress. Perhaps I am Norman Maine. I removed my clothes and disappeared into the black abyss.
8:54 PM Apr 27th

OH MY GOD!! IT'S FREEEEZING!! Only got in as far as my knees. There's no way they shot that scene in L.A. Toweling off with my orange pants.
9:00 PM Apr 27th

In the Blanch DuBois suite. Wonder what Harry and Amber are doing? Wonder where the knife is? Wonder if I survive ? It's a Wonderful Life.
9:32 PM Apr 27th

"Monty, I need help." "Where are you? The hotel said you moved..." "I'm being framed for the murder of Harry's wife!" "You did it?" "No!!!"
9:12 AM Apr 28th

"They haven't found a murder weapon and the only suspect is his driver." "That's me." "Wh...?" "I'll explain when I see you." "Where?"
9:18 AM Apr 28th

" Pink's at noon." "Ok." "And if you get there before me, order me two chili dogs, all the way." "So, this mean you're not doing the Bris?"
9:23 AM Apr 28th

Watching Oprah. Always makes me cry. I'm a wuss. Hey, maybe if I survive this thing she'll have me on. Look what it did for Tom..oh, yeah.
10:20 AM Apr 28th

Drive past Pink's. Crawling with cops. Damn that Monty. He ratted me out. If you can't trust your agent who can you...What am I saying?
12:01 PM Apr 28th

Now what? Can't think, Can't think! Thank God I didn't tell Monty where I was living. Damnit, I'm furious. I really wanted those hot dogs!!!
12:34 PM Apr 28th

"Why Monty?" "For your own good. Meshugeh, turn yourself in." "What did Harry tell you?" "He's too upset to talk. It was his nurse, Amber".
3:16 PM Apr 28th

"She said you were a son to him. You fell for his cute little wife, she didn't respond, you stabbed her.""You think there a pilot in this?"
4:22 PM Apr 28th

"I'm ashamed of you. As a client and a Jew." "Oh for Crissakes, I didn't kill her! Harry and Amber did it! " "You're sick." "You're fired."
5:33 PM Apr 28th

She fooled Monty. Like she fooled me. Clever dame. If I don't stop them I'll be playcationing for life in the Big House. Whatever that is.
9:29 PM Apr 28th

New York Post. Headline: DATA DOOD IT! "... knife was found in the trunk of the car Spiner was driving...police suspect...subject at large.
9:25 AM Apr 29th

They must've matched the prints on the knife with those on the steering wheel. There's a lesson in this. Don't open other people's mail.
9:41 AM Apr 29th

Found a surgical supply. Pulled the brim low on my baseball cap and bought a mask. Put it on. With this swine flu thing, no one will ask.
10:18 AM Apr 29th

Looked in the mirror. Even with the mask, still looks like me. Can't go out again. Think of something else. No time to grow beard. I know..
3:59 PM Apr 29th

Shaved my head. Pretty smooth. A few nicks. I look like Mr. Clean on heroin. Scary. Some of the patients at the clinic would be so jealous.
4:29 PM Apr 29th

Tested new look. Went to Zankou Chicken for dinner. Had a shwarma plate. No one recognized me. Though, difficult to eat in a surgical mask.
9:07 PM Apr 29th

Still can't believe Amber didn't feel something for me. Her affection seemed so real. Particularly when she...well, you had to be there.
9:34 PM Apr 29th

Maybe I should see Martinez. Tell him everything. The truth will set you free. Maybe he'll believe me. It's always better to tell the...Nah.
8:29 AM Apr 30th

I'm jonesing for Amber. I have to see her. Talk to her. Running out of money. And time. I'm going back to the house. For what?... Who knows?
9:12 AM Apr 30th

Preparing myself. Did yoga. Chanted. Pressed my suit as best I could. Reshaved head. Must leave instructions should anything happen to me.
10:46 AM Apr 30th

I, Brent Spiner, of sound mnid and body, leave all my earthly possessions (one suit,6pr pants) to The Actor's Fund. Will get big$$ on ebay.
10:51 AM Apr 30th

Driving around LA. Reliving all of my past Adventures in LaLaLand. It all comes to a head tonight. I can feel it in my...well, in my head.
11:58 AM Apr 30th

Just had what I hope won't be my last Fatburger...my last anything. Got special sauce all over my mask. Good thing I bought a spare.
3:36 PM Apr 30th

Driving toward the hills, and Amber. Don't think she'll recognize me. Wearing my suit. With shaved head and mask I look hip and paranoid.
3:43 PM Apr 30th

Parked outside Harry's house. Don't know what I'll say or do. Can't go in till I stop shaking. Wish I'd saved some of my pills from clinic.
4:14 PM Apr 30th

The gate opened. A limo pulled out. Harry and Amber in the backseat. I have to follow. Going East on Sunset. Turning South to Melrose.
5:06 PM Apr 30th

I know this neighborhood well. The limo turning into Paramount Pictures. Oh my God...They're going to premiere of the new STAR TREK movie!
5:11 PM Apr 30th

Limo drove past guard gate into parking lot. What to do? What to do? Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge kyo, Namyoho renge...Oh what the hell.
5:22 PM Apr 30th

Kip, the guard, I know him. Pulled my mask up. (ala Patrick Stewart) Hello, Kip!" " Evening Mr. Stewart. Enjoy the film" "Make it so!"
5:26 PM Apr 30th

Hiding in a bathroom stall till lights go down. I'll sneak in. This is the perfect place to be. There's a very good chance I might vomit.
5:41 PM Apr 30th

Lesson #2 : Remove mask before throwing up. I'll be going into the theater sans mask.
6:37 PM Apr 30th

Found seat in the back. Missed first five minutes. Spotted Harry and Amber. I've got to do something. But I think I'll watch movie first.
7:08 PM Apr 30th

Wow,great movie. Crowd goes wild. Director and cast come out on stage. Nimoy steps to the mike. Tumultuous applause. He begins to speak.
9:05 PM Apr 30th

But, at that moment I find myself standing up. "Ladies and gentlemen..." A gasp goes through the audience. I hear my name being whispered...
9:06 PM Apr 30th

" I know you've been heard some crazy things about me. If I may, I'd like to set the record straight. I didn't kill anyone I..." "STOP!"
9:13 PM Apr 30th

Martinez and crew with Kip."I knew it wasn't Mr. Stewart! His head has a much nicer shape." Martinez steps forward," Come with us, now."
9:17 PM Apr 30th

A voice. Leonard's. " Let him speak! Give the man his say." The crowd concurs. Martinez steps back. "Thanks, Leonard. Loved the movie."
9:25 PM Apr 30th

"Mr. Abraham, forgive me. This is your night. I'll continue with your kind permission." Abraham looked at me, nodded and smiled, "Engage".
9:27 PM Apr 30th

I pointed at Harry and Amber. "That elderly man and that...absolutely adorable creature sitting next to him killed his wife and framed me".
9:33 PM Apr 30th

Harry sputtered,"That's absoid! The man's crazy! Arrest him before he hurts someone else." He took Amber by the hand and stood to leave.
9:36 PM Apr 30th

"Harry, I understand. Love is a powerful thing. Makes you do things you never thought you were capable of. Amber, it's you. You caused this"
9:41 PM Apr 30th

" Bob loved you, and you killed her. I loved you, you framed me. And Harry, believe me, you're next. How could so much love lead to this?"
9:45 PM Apr 30th

"Amber, you'll regret this. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life." Amber and Harry stood frozen.
9:47 PM Apr 30th

The room was silent.Then, a man stood and raised his hand. "Mr. Spiner, do you think it was a mistake killing Data at the end of Nemesis?"
9:53 PM Apr 30th

Harry pulled a pistol from inside his coat."Someone's got to stop him before he kills again!" Several people screamed. Mostly women. And me.
9:59 PM Apr 30th

Martinez grabbed Harry's arm. Shots rang out. The crowd became hysterical. Absolute chaos. A cop grabbed me but some fans pushed him away.
10:04 PM Apr 30th

The room has gone mad. Like one of Tod Hackett's paintings in Day of the Locust. Bullets flying. Felt something burning hot graze my temple
10:08 PM Apr 30th

The room was spinning out of control. A black hole opened. I was sucked in...
10:09 PM Apr 30th

After drifting in space for several hours, regained consciousness in a jail cell in downtown LA. My head still aches. Bullets will do that.
8:32 AM May 1st

Wonder what's become of Harry and Amber. What a crazy night. The thing I keep remembering most about it? That new Uhura is sizzling hot!
8:38 AM May 1st

Martinez. "You're a lucky man. We traced the weapon to 'the knife show'. Ordered by one Amber Jordan." "Hamburger." "No, meatloaf today."
8:54 AM May 1st

"Harrry told us everything. You're free to go, sir." "Could I see her?" " He took me to Amber's cell. She looked looked cute in prison garb.
9:00 AM May 1st

"Baby, I love you. It was Harry. He.." "You killed Bob. Wouldn't call her a friend, but she was nice to me. You're taking the fall, sister."
9:05 AM May 1st

"But, I love you." " I love you,too. And when you get outta here in fifty years or so, I'll be waiting." "But, you'll be dead." " Oh yeah."
9:08 AM May 1st

Martinez walked me to my car. We shook hands. " Piece of advice, Mr. Spiner. If I were you, I leave town." "What, and quit show business?"
9:16 AM May 1st

I drove into the beautiful morning light. A perfect day in Lotus Land. Three blocks from the prison, my left front tire fell off. The end.
9:19 AM May 1st


1 comment:

Miriam the Mommy said...

Totally delightful. Thank you for posting it in entirety.

My blog is worth $3,387.24. How much is your blog worth?