No good deed goes unpunished

I've been well-acquainted with this sentiment for quite some time now. Heck, this is such a seemingly prevalent aspect of society that many states have enacted Good Samaritan laws to protect those who lend assistance just to be helpful. Here's a page with a good summary of what Good Samaritan laws do and are for.

I've had my own experiences - nothing that falls under the jurisdiction of Good Samaritan laws - but irritating just the same.

Years ago, I worked with someone who commented at one point that I did work faster and better than most everyone else in the department. And she noticed that my "reward" for that was having more work, and more difficult work, given to me because the higher ups knew that 1) I'd be able to finish it all and 2) they knew it would be done correctly. So effectively, that meant I got more work (including projects that had been previously handled by other people) and the projects that were more complicated while many others had less to do and only got the easy stuff. The higher-ups didn't trust them to do the projects correctly and on time. So basically, they were rewarded for their laziness by having even less to do and even less responsibility, and in most cases, I was earning less than they were.

At that same company (and no, it wasn't specifically a function of that company or the people in the department - I think this happens everywhere), there were two other instances where a good deed did not go unpunished.

There was a time when I discovered that I liked baking, so periodically and for no reason, I'd decide to bake, either on a weekend or a weeknight, and I'd end up bringing in an array of baked goods, usually chocolate chip cookies, muffins and mini-muffins, and brownies. One of the times, it was a friend's birthday, so I asked if he had any special requests, and he expressed a preference for pound cake, so I brought that in, and it became one of the things I would periodically make as well. Whenever I would bake, I would keep the goodies in plastic containers on a bookshelf on the other side of my desk. I would specifically let a few people know to come down and partake, but otherwise, it was pretty much available to anyone who happened to come into my office that day. They'd either be used to me periodically bringing stuff in, or I'd offer to a newbie, a messenger, the mail guy, whoever.

One day, someone on my floor stopped by because she noticed the containers. She wasn't someone who I was particularly close to nor someone I particularly liked, but I was pleasant to her. She came in, looked at the variety of 3 or so things I had and then said, "Is that all you have?" I responded with "yes", and she just left. I was really irritated because it wasn't like I was running a store or anything, and there were a few varieties of things. Even if I had only brought in cookies, if she wasn't interested, that was fine, but I was just pissed off at the way she asked that question. I'm spending the time and money to make this stuff and bring it in for no reason, but apparently, that wasn't enough. That comment was one of the reasons I eventually stopped bringing in baked goods.

On a similar note, I used to have various chocolates on my desk, like M&Ms, little miniature candy bars, kisses, whatever. They were just in some tins, and again, people knew I had it and would stop by to have some and chit chat with me. That's about all I asked for in return - take candy but stop and talk to me, if I could talk at that particular point in time. Again, a few different varieties, again, someone asked if that was all I had. Now, this from someone who came in and took candy regularly, didn't talk to me all that much (which was actually ok with me), and *never* brought any contributions to fill the tins. (Other people would periodically bring me bags of candy if they'd been regularly taking some from my tins.) Again, my money to buy it, for no reason, and again, that wasn't enough.

Some years ago, I was volunteering for an organization. I would work the two or three big events that the organization put on each year, and I'd also do work in the office. I went maybe one or two nights per week, after work, for maybe 2 or 3 hours at a time. I didn't always go in that much because in between events, there wasn't that much to do, but when things would start to ramp up, they knew to call me, and I'd go in when I could. After I'd been doing it for a couple of years, as we got closer to the events, they would try to get me to come in more often. Well, I was already going in two nights per week, on top of working all day and other stuff that I had to do in my life. They were trying to get me to commit to coming on a particular night, and I said I couldn't because I had already made plans with a friend, and they actually tried to make me feel guilty for not coming. Hmmm, I guess the hours of work I've already done didn't mean anything, given that I was on the list of volunteers who were there most often. There were a few other volunteers I was friendly with, and I happened to have conversations with them about this, including some who weren't putting in as much time, and it turned out the powers that be were putting this kind of pressure on all of us regulars, and the effect it had was that we felt unappreciated and it made us actually less interested in being there. They eventually ended up driving the majority of us away. The only people who had been in the office and at events more than us was generally paid staff people. We gave up evenings and weekends to help out, for no money, but apparently, that wasn't enough.

A friend recently told me a story of a wedding that she was attending. It was a very small affair, with just a ceremony, no reception, and the bride had mentioned that after the wedding, the wedding party could all just get together for dinner at a particular restaurant. As her gift to the bride and groom, she generously offered to pay for that dinner, which the bride and groom thankfully accepted. And then the bride wanted to include another couple who wasn't in the wedding party. And the friend said ok. And then the bride wanted to change to a much more expensive restaurant. And the friend reluctantly said ok. And when they were at dinner, the bride ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and also ordered a side dish that she didn't end up wanting and offered to others at the table, and then she ended up taking most of her dinner as leftovers anyway. I thought my friend was being very generous in offering to pay for dinner in the first place, especially given other circumstances going on, but apparently, that wasn't enough.

And we come to the most recent example. Someone in my department at work bought a Christmas tree last year to put up in our reception area, just to brighten things up. Everyone was invited to bring an ornament, if they wanted, to decorate the tree with. After Christmas, people could take their ornaments back or leave them for the following year. Recently, the tree was taken back out, and a time was arranged to decorate it and the same invitation about ornaments was sent out, and she even provided milk and cookies while we did the decorating. We all helped to put the old and new ornaments on the tree, had some treats and some time to socialize, and at the end, there was a lovely tree up in the reception area. It was pretty simple - just a pre-lit green tree with a fairly eclectic mixture of ornaments since so many people contributed. Very festive.

And then we were talking the next day, and she mentioned that she'd gotten complaints. I couldn't imagine what about. She said some people didn't like that it was a pre-lit tree. Some people didn't think certain ornaments should be on there - there were none that were inappropriate. Some wondered why there wasn't also a menorah up and something for Kwanzaa and whatever else.

Grow up, people. SHE BOUGHT THE TREE WITH HER OWN MONEY. She organized this herself, with help from someone who actually put the tree together both years. She ordered the milk and cookies. She arranged everything. If you wanted something different or more, why don't you do it yourself? You can bitch and moan and complain about the effort that someone else puts in when you can't be bothered to do anything yourself. I thought she did a great job in putting everything together, but apparently, it wasn't enough.

Sometimes, it doesn't seem to pay to do something nice for someone. It makes me wonder why anyone does anything good for anyone else, when you can sometimes get so much grief for doing something nice. But I try not to let that affect how I behave towards people. If I run into something like that, it generally affects how I behave in the future with that particular person, but it doesn't generally carry over to other people. I've had other instances when people have been very thankful for assistance, so those are what I hang onto.