Thanksgiving 2017

In the overall scheme of things, I know that I'm blessed and very fortunate.  I have a job, I have a place to live, I have reliable transportation, I don't want for food or beverage or clothes, and I have friends.  But, sometimes, even knowing that there are millions of people who don't have the basic necessities of life, it's hard for my rational mind to let all of that sink in.  That may also be because my rational mind isn't always the one in control nowadays.

I struggle every day to get out of bed.  I struggle every day to get out of the house, to go to work.  I struggle to do what I need to do at work and otherwise.  Outwardly, I think I appear fine.  Every day, I maintain the facade that everything is ok, that I'm ok, while inside, I have to make a conscious effort to appear that way, to maintain the illusion when I'm around people, when at times, I feel like I'm just standing at the edge of an abyss.  I think the rollercoaster aspect is what throws me off.  There will be short moments, maybe a few minutes at a time, when I am fine, really fine, and there are other times when I'm at least managing ok.  But then, there are also the moments when darkness creeps back in, and I can feel myself sinking again, and it's all I can do to hold on and stay afloat.  That those dark times still return periodically throws me off guard every time I think I've made it out.

Last Thanksgiving, my dad was already gone.  My mother had gone into the hospital several days prior to Thanksgiving, and we thought she'd be released by Thanksgiving.  But it didn't happen.  So, she spent Thanksgiving in the hospital.  Since we had already planned to have Thanksgiving at our parents' house, we still did that, bringing the food we were all going to bring anyway.  We ate Thanksgiving dinner at their house, and then we packed up a little plate and went to visit our mother in the hospital.  She wasn't really able to eat any of the stuff we brought.  She was eventually released a few days later to return home.

This Thanksgiving, the husband and I are doing our own thing, and everyone else in the family is doing their own thing as well.  This is part of the process of the water finding its own level, on the way to figuring out what the new normal is now.

And the new normal includes it being more quiet in the house than it's been for the past 15 years.  I miss the mornings with Orkid, when the husband is still asleep, and Orkid comes to find me to cuddle for a while.  I'll be sitting at my computer, and I can hear her little feet tapping on the floor as she walks over to the room.  I'll look at her, and she'll meow at me, and then she'll jump up onto my chair, and then climb on me and settle down.

I'll get to spend some time with friends during the long weekend, so that will be nice.  So many things in my mind that I'd like to get done, none of which I've been able to do for months now, and I'm not sure what the chances are that I'll actually manage to do any of them this weekend.

I hope that this Thanksgiving brings you some joy, some happiness, some laughter, and if nothing else, some peace.

By a Thread



After a friend found out that I'd had to say goodbye to my cat this weekend, part of her comment was that I've had a lot to carry lately.  My response to her was that they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but without trying to be blasphemous, I feel like with all of the stuff God has to watch over in the world nowadays, He might have me confused with someone else as far as how much I can deal with.

When my father died last October, I don't think I really had much time to process what happened.  I spent a lot of time helping my siblings take care of our mother, and then because she was in the hospital a few times or needed other assistance, there always seemed to be some kind of crisis to deal with, so almost everything else was put on hold or could be subject to change at a moment's notice.

For those who haven't read my blog much and don't know, I'm a huge movie fan.  Oscar night is a big deal for me because I'm really interested, even in years when for whatever reason, I haven't seen many of the nominated movies.  Don't call me, don't visit, don't talk to me that night unless it's about the Oscars - I'm busy.  I do real-time commentary on Twitter during the broadcast about the awards, some of the fashion, whatever happens on the show.  This year, about 3/4 into the show, I got a text that something had happened with my mom, and I was the nearest person to her who could get to her the fastest.  There wasn't a choice.  I stopped watching and left the house, and Best Actor and Best Picture hadn't even been presented yet.  (So, yeah, I didn't actually get to watch the whole Best Picture "Midnight" / "La La Land" snafu that happened and instead read about it on Twitter later.)

It wasn't really until May / June that nothing major had happened in a while, and I think that's when stuff about my dad started to surface.  Feelings/memories/thoughts/reactions and such had come up a little previously, but for the most part, they had to be suppressed because there wasn't time or energy to think about them.  But 9 months later, they were making their presence known.  I was actually having a difficult enough time that I considered taking a leave of absence from work.  But the person who usually fills in for me when I'm on vacation was swamped herself, and after thinking about it for a while, I decided that I couldn't add to her load with having to cover for me while I was on a leave.  I determined to stick it out.

And then August rolled around, and my mother died.  And now, more feelings, more thoughts, more reactions.  Interspersed with not feeling anything when my brain shut everything down when it got too bad.  I was feeling awful.  My entire body hurt, and without getting too tmi, my insides were not processing well.  I knew that stress was a factor and decided to wait it out a bit before seeing my doctor, figuring the stress would subside some and then my doctor could tell me if I was feeling like crap because something was really wrong with me or if it was just stress-induced.

So, in late September, I had an appointment with my doctor.  When she walked in the room, she asked how I was, and I said that I'd been better.  She asked me what was going on.  I told her that the last time I'd seen her was in January (I'm supposed to see her every six months for a regular check-up and tests.), and at that point, I'd told her that my father had died several months prior.  She said yes, she remembered that.  So then I told her that my mother had died about 6 weeks ago.  She talked to me for a little while, and I told her about everything that hurt and felt wrong about my body.  And she did order the normal tests and a few more just to make sure, but she pretty much said that all of it was due to the stress of everything.  (Who knew that stress could turn your insides into knots.  Well, I didn't.  I mean, I know that stress definitely has an effect on your physical body, but I wasn't aware that it could have as many adverse reactions on you physically as I am now aware given that it's happened / happening to me.)  She also said that I was effectively experiencing depression, and she wanted me to see a therapist.  I had actually thought she might say something like that, and I agreed to go.

An appointment was set up for later that week, and the therapist I met with is a female.  She asked a whole boatload of questions about my entire life.  I kept having to remind myself that if I didn't tell her the absolute truth, there was no hope of her helping me.  I do have to admit that it was uncomfortable saying out loud to her things that I almost never discuss with anyone.  (And, admitting further that I still find it uncomfortable at times talking about certain medical things with doctors and other medical personnel that I don't know, and I have to remind myself that they've seen and heard everything, and this is their job, and there's no need to be embarrassed.  Well, this was 10 times worse because it was talking about feelings.)  By the end of the session, she did confirm that I did show signs of depression, and she did want to see me a few times but she didn't think I needed prolonged sessions, and she wanted me to go to group therapy for grief.  That last part kind of threw me for a loop.  Talk about my feelings to total strangers, especially feelings that I don't think are what most people expect to hear in this situation.  Hesitant and a little scared but willing to try, so I said ok.  As it turns out, the group therapy is on a cycle of sessions, so I have to wait for the next cycle to start.

And then the week after this, I had the meltdown I detailed in a prior post.  The therapist and I had talked about the option of medication to treat my depression.  I'm not against the idea but after talking through some of my questions, I decided to hold off for now, with the possibility of re-visiting in the future.  After the meltdown, I seriously thought about the medication again, but I also realized that it can be a long process in trying to figure out which meds might work for me and in what dosage, and I'm not sure I can handle the uncertainty and testing right now.

Since the meltdown, things haven't been as bad.  I don't feel awful all the time, I was actually getting some sleep, but I still didn't feel like doing much.

And then, Orkid got sick.  As I mentioned in my last post, she'd been dealing with the kidney issue for some time and it had been ok, but her downward spiral only really started about a week or so ago, and then really crashed on Thursday and Friday last week.

It just seems like in the past year, every time I think I've dug myself a bit out of a hole, more dirt gets thrown back on me.  I've sat at work today at my desk periodically crying, partly because I do miss Orkid (it was very quiet in the house last night, with no tap-tap-tap to clue me in that she was walking over to visit with me) and just being overwhelmed again with everything, so many things I haven't worked out and figured out.  I could really use some time off, but the person who normally covers for me is currently unavailable so I really can't take any time.  If I'm not here, there's literally no one to do my job right now, so it's better to have me crying at my desk in between working, struggling through, than to have no one here at all.

And on top of that, when I was told that group therapy wouldn't start for a little while, they said if I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks, I should call.  I should be calling now.  But I haven't, because that would also require me to leave the office in the mid-afternoon once a week to get to the meeting, and again, with my co-worker not being available, I'm struggling with essentially abandoning my job to go.  One of my friends is encouraging me to call about the meeting, and she likened it to putting on my own oxygen mask first before trying to help others.  I understand the sentiment, but right now, I'm feeling more like I'm the pilot of a plane, and the co-pilot is unconscious, so if I step away, there will be no one able to fly the plane.

It sounds crazy to think that with everything that's been going on for the past 13 months, losing my cat is what has the potential to send me over the edge.  I'm fighting it, but it's really difficult.  I feel like my reserves are all depleted, and the fumes are even dissipating, so I can't even rely on coasting with those.  I think the tears are the only release I have right now to continue on to the next minute, the next hour, the next day.

It's Been a Hell of a Year

Sometimes, I don't know what day it is.  Heck, sometimes, I don't know what year it is.  So much has happened in the past year, well, really, 13 months, that it's hard to keep things straight sometimes.

It started in September of 2016.  In mid-September, we were given notice our dad had likely at most 2 months to live.  It ended up being about 6 weeks, mostly involving in-home hospice care, and he died in October.  The one-year anniversary is coming up this Wednesday.

After having been in the hospital a few times for various reasons since November 2016, our mother died in August of this year.  Even though doctors were still talking about tests and possible treatment, given what was happening, I had figured out about a week beforehand that there was really only going to be one outcome.

About a month ago, a friend of a friend died from a rare and aggressive form of cancer.  I'd only met him twice in the past year but had enjoyed my time with him when he'd visited with our mutual friend.  I'd hoped to see him a third time and was sad when it turned out that wasn't going to happen.

Last week, a friend's father died very suddenly and unexpectedly.  I'd never met him, but my friend had talked about him a lot, so I knew some things about him.

Of course, the last two things aren't directly related to me, but because of the situations, their deaths did have an effect on me.

And then yesterday morning, we had to put our cat down.  She had a kidney condition that we'd been managing for some time, but eventually, it was more than she could deal with.  She was to the point where she wouldn't eat or even drink water and could barely move, all of this happening in a period of a day or two, so we made the decision to let her go.

And being a student of pop psychology, one of the things I've noticed that's come out of all this is that there have been several times over the past 13 months when a switch has been flipped, when I've just tuned out to the point where I don't feel anything.  It's a really interesting sensation when it's something you've read about, and then you realize that it's happening to you right then and there.  There have been a few times when the pain, the hurt, the situations have just been so overwhelming that as a defense mechanism, my mind and my feelings just turn off because it can't handle it.  Sometimes it lasts for a few hours, sometimes it lasts for a few days.

There's so much there to process in each situation, much less having all of them happen in a relatively short period of time.  And this doesn't even take into account the normal stresses and anxiety and such associated with work and life's other happenings.

The weird thing is that I'm not entirely sure I understand what exactly death means.  I can't define it for myself.  It happened more than a year ago, in fact, it happened about 3 years ago, but one of my best friends died in August 2014, and to this day, it's like my mind thinks that he's on a business trip, and he's just too busy to talk to me right now.  That's happened before, when we wouldn't get a chance to talk for a while.  Granted, it never lasted 3 years, but it seems to be how my brain makes it ok that I don't see or hear from him.  And I think I've taken that approach to my dad and my mom as well, that they're on vacation, so that's why I haven't seen or talked to them.  Again, that's happened before, though not for this long a period of time, but at least it's a situation that makes sense to me.  I guess the mind does whatever it needs to when you need it.

There are charts that give stress points for various events that happen in your life.  I think it's pretty safe to say that my stress points are probably off the charts at the moment, so it's probably not a surprise that I'm not handling it entirely well.  More on that later.

stuff on my cat

So Orkid was laying on a counter in the kitchen the other day. And there was mail nearby. And she was just laying there. So I put a postcard-sized piece of mail on her. And she didn't object or even more. So I put another small piece of mail on her. And she kept not moving. So I put bigger mail on her. And she sat there and lazily blinked her eyes, almost like she was going to sleep. So I piled all of the day's mail on her, most of which was junk mail and catalogs and stuff. And she just lay there.






Yeah, she's weird.

she's a lady

I am completely not in the mood to write, so how about a picture I took of Orkid tonight instead?

ok, yeah, so I follow a cat on Twitter

A little over a month ago, I happened upon this article about a cat that is on Twitter. OK, yeah, so it's not actually Socks, the cat itself (duh), it's the owner channeling the cat through the tweets. I mentioned this to a couple of friends over the weekend, who were amused by this. I find the tweets to be funny, especially as someone who has a cat, so what the heck.

Here's an example of some of the tweets I particularly liked.

AAA WHEN DID I SUDDENLY GET THE REPUTATION OF BEING PORTABLE gah put me down PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN PUT ME DOWN flump sheesh come on guy

I'LL BE TAKING MY DINNER UNDER THE DINING ROOM TABLE CANOPY THIS EVENING hey come back here oh well usual eating place it is trot trot

JUST CONSIDER THIS TWITCHING TAIL A DO NOT DISTURB SIGN thanks

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS INSIDE THIS CORD must gnaw to determine what's inside GNAW GNAW GNAW REVEAL YOUR SECRETS CORD other than you're chewy

SAD TO SAY I AM NOT CURRENTLY A TWITTER VERIFIED ACCOUNT but watch this nobody knocks over the one expensive thing like I can SEE IT'S ME

hey fatty how ya doing SURE COULD USE SOME FOOD AND HERE I AM RUBBING AGAINST YOUR FACE AND HEY FOOD AND SO FOOD AND oh you're awake FOOD

spending the day at key information gathering location under coffee table AM HAPPY TO REPORT THERE ARE FEET AND LOTS OF THEM

FLAT CAT IN CENTER OF ROOM absolutely no reason SOCKS PEROGATIVE

GAHHHHHHH no matter how long I stare at that rabbit it stares back MOVING HEAD no difference HOW DOES IT DO IT what do you mean it's stone

flat cat on stairs NONE SHALL PASS woah you walked right over me had no idea that was even possible OH WELL zzzzzzzzz

THIS DOOR IS A PARADOX WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA TRAPPED IN A RIDDLE ok fine it is merely closed STILL RATHER CONFOUNDING

PANTS STATUS: FUZZY TRY AGAIN LATER ha ha will be even more fuzzy then SHED SHED SHED ROLL ROLL ROLL

There's something called the Socks Army that APPARENTLY does some good stuff, but I haven't cared enough to find out more about it. I just think Socks is funny.

And no, in case you were wondering, Orkid will not be getting her own Twitter account nor will she be allowed to exchange emails with any other kitties who would have the ability to teach her how to open doors and cabinets and such.

Orkid's hammock

When we first decided to get a cat, the husband decided that we should get one of those automatic litter boxes. It has a sensor that triggers when the cat goes inside, and after a set amount of minutes, the rake triggers. That way, you don't have to clean out the litter box as much as with a regular litter box. The device works out really well, and Orkid is fine with it, which is good. I've heard that some cats are too scared by it and won't go near it, so it's no use. She was kind of suspicious at first, but at this point, we think she's figured out what it does, because sometimes, she'll just go inside and come right back out, and then once it has raked, she'll then go back in and do her business.

Yeah, I know, peculiar cat.

Anyway, we decided to get a privacy tent for her litter box, and the other really useful thing about it is that Orkid has never given up her habit of flinging litter when she's trying to cover up, so having the tent keeps most of the litter contained to some degree. It's a kind of zippered canvas/plastic tent that has a frame inside that fits around the entire litter box, and there's a flap in front for her to walk through.

Well, the tent now has a use that I don't think the makers ever dreamed of. The litter box is near my computer, and Orkid likes to just hang out on top of the tent sometimes, like she's relaxing in an outdoor hammock underneath some shade trees. She'll roll around, almost like she's enjoying catnip, or she'll take a bath or just hang out or take a nap.

Here's Orkid relaxing in her hammock.






Sometimes, she jumps up there with her full force, which I don't think it's built to take, at least not for any length of time. The frame was made of some material that was starting to wilt under the weight of her repeated leaping up there, so the husband actually remade the frame with pvc material so that it holds up better. The tent itself is fraying a bit, but I think it'll last for a while longer, and we actually bought another as backup for when this one eventually crumbles.

Yeah, it's been many years since the last time I had a cat, but I tell you, Orkid does some things that my cats *never* did.

Darth Kitty

A tweet from the Star Wars twitter feed came through a couple days ago with a link to this picture.





It's really cute, but poor kitty. I'm mostly just amazed that the cat let them put this outfit on. I think Orkid would have torn us to shreds had we tried.


Here's the link with the picture.

Orkid!

So I got a new phone today, and I was testing out the TwitPic app. OK, really, the husband was testing it for me. He went to go take a picture of Orkid with my new phone, and instead of finding her in her new favorite place to nap (in the little space behind the door of the guest room), he instead found her on our bed. So I had him take a picture of her anyway. We sent the picture through to TwitPic, and it worked fine, which means that I will now have to restrain myself from annoying those who follow me with picture after picture of things they don't care about. But, I thought the picture of Orkid was so cute that those who follow me on Twitter shouldn't be the only ones to see it.

Here she is.





That picture is now also the wallpaper for my new phone.

Isn't she the cutest thing?

cat yodeling!

OK, when I read the title of the YouTube video, I really thought they meant yodeling, and I was wondering how that was going to be done. Then, when I watched the video and figured out what they meant, I realized that Orkid is in fact a highly accomplished yodeler in her own right, and with just a bit of the prompting mentioned in the video!

cat ... bag ... head - what more do you need to know?

A friend of mine sent me the link to this video a little while ago, and it's funny to watch. I'm familiar with the tendency that the cat in the video has because Orkid likes to stick her head into bags and boxes and such as well. The funniest thing has been when there was an empty tissue box, the small square ones, lying around, and she stuck her head in that - and it was just the right size that the box stayed on her head when she picked her head up. Yes, it was really funny. With her feet perched on the front of the box, she was able to yank it off. But boxed Orkid head was hysterical.

news roundup Friday - college basketball, lost-and-found kitty, stupid thief and MILs

Happy Friday the 13th for the second time this year! Here's a rundown of a few news stories that interested me.


six overtimes in college basketball game

I don't generally care about college sports. Yeah, I pay attention somewhat to college football, particularly when it comes to Cal, but while I might be interested in scores, I don't much care about watching the games. I have even less interest in college basketball. To me, that's about as bad as ... watching the WNBA. But while driving home last night, I heard the story about the college basketball game between Syracuse University and the University of Connecticut. Syracuse ended up winning the game, but not until after they'd played 6 overtime periods, with the game lasting a total of almost 4 hours, ending at 1:22am at Madison Square Garden in New York. I'm pretty amazed that almost the entire crowd was there for the entire game - overtimes included. Yeah, the game was exciting - Syracuse had a basket at the end of regulation which would have broken the tie and given them the win right then and there, but the basket was ruled to be too late, after time had already expired in the game - and once you've committed to one overtime and then two, you HAVE to stay to the end, but I am pretty impressed that most of them actually did stay. There have to be a lot of people exhausted at work today.

Speaking of which, Syracuse has a game tonight at 9pm Eastern time against West Virginia. Hope they'll be awake by then. And not limping.


why is the couch mewing at me?

A woman bought a used couch from a thrift store only to discover several days later that the couch came with an extra feature - a calico cat. I'm wondering how long the couch was at the store, and the cat didn't make any noise or expend any effort to get out then? And when a couch is donated to a store for re-sale, they don't clean it or anything, which would have exposed the cat? Ewww. I don't know that I would have thought about trying to contact the owner, though, so it's good that she did, and it's good that the cat was reunited with its owner. Orkid would be one of those who'd be locked away in a trunk and we'd never know it, because while she is now vocal TO us (she didn't mew for the longest time when we first got her, so we didn't even know what her voice sounded like), she doesn't make a sound when she's been accidentally locked somewhere. I'll just happen to notice that I haven't seen her in a while, and she's not in any of her normal napping places, so the husband and I will go around the house calling her. No answer. We'll try to remember what rooms we've been in where we normally keep the door closed, or we'll look in the closet or cabinets or something, and invariably, she snuck into a room she's not normally allowed in, and we didn't notice and closed the door on her inside. And we only find her if we open enough doors, and eventually, she'll walk out of one.


maybe next time, he should try robbing a police station

All I'm going to say is - don't mess with a Tae Kwon Do dude.


not exactly a monopoly

A woman has filed a lawsuit naming about forty bazillion people, accusing them of stealing her script and making the movie "Monster-in-Law" with it. First of all, I guess she's either casting the widest net possible, or she's just really ignorant about things, because she has named the actors of the movie in her lawsuit. Ummm, yeah, you know, they didn't write the script, they were just hired to do a movie, so really, they have no liability of any alleged theft of your screenplay. And secondly, while I haven't seen the film, problems with mothers-in-law isn't a unique situation, no matter how complicated the relationship might be. Unless there are incidents depicted in the film that are unique and have only happened to her and NO ONE ELSE EVER, she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I read about MIL-related incidents that happen all the time, and there are lots of similarities among the stories. And, on top of that, she doesn't seem to be able to make any connection as to how any of the forty bazillion people might have had any access to her script. There is such a thing as simultaneous creation.

our friends love her more than we do

Today is Boxing Day, and Orkid loves to hang out in boxes and even tries to get into boxes that she can't fit into. OK, yeah, I know that's not what Boxing Day is really about, but hey, I needed the stretch to be able to do a post on Orkid. :)

We are not pet parents. Yes, we love Orkid, but when it comes down to it, she's still our pet and not our child. That doesn't mean we don't indulge her on some stuff or take care of her or things like that. But we don't do birthday parties for her, we don't include her in our Christmas letter, and if for some reason we did some kind of picture for Christmas, she would not be included.

We also don't buy her presents, either for her birthday or Christmas. Sure, we might pick up toys here and there at various times of the year if we see something we think she might like, but she's actually got so many toys at home that she doesn't really need any more. And besides, we know she'll be getting new toys every year.

One of my friends gets Orkid a pet stocking every year that's filled with various cat toys. Because I'm terrified of the ones that look anything at all like a real mouse, the husband usually has to weed through the stocking and throw out the ones that could potentially scare me if she were to bring it up to bed or leave it lying around for me to step on. Generally, anything that's a darker color is a problem, whereas she is able to keep her bright pink and bright blue ones.

Well, this year, she got toys from two other people, not to mention the "accidental" presents she got.

One of our friends got her a sailor necktie which is really cute. It looks like the one pictured below, except that it's white.





We put it on Orkid, though not without some effort. She is not the kind of cat who likes to wear apparel, so I had to constrict her mouth and paws so she couldn't bite or scratch while the husband put it on her. Once it was on, she didn't seem to mind, and she did look very cute in it.

This same friend had gotten Orkid a Santa hat last year which we'd never gotten around to putting on her. We tried this year - and again, she is not the kind of cat who likes to wear apparel. It took constricting her again to get the hat on her without any harm to either the husband or me, but as soon as it was on her, she freaked out at the little white ball on the tip which was now dangling in front of her head, and she ran into the other room. It didn't take much for her to wrestle the thing off her head, and then she stared at it from a distance like it was going to leap up at her. We've put it in her toy box so she can play with it if she wants to.

Orkid also likes to play with the ribbons and strings and curlies that might come attached to a gift, so we usually let her play with those after we've taken them off the gifts.

Here's a picture of her on Christmas day as she's lying on the couch, after we've opened our gifts. You can see the Christmas stocking she got this year from my friend, and the husband is holding the cat teaser with the red furry chaser that has her attention. She absolutely loves that thing, and you can see the bits she'd already yanked off. And you can't see it very well in the picture, but she has her sailor necktie on, as well as various curlies that we tucked into it.





A recent discussion with some friends led to talk about the weird places cats sometimes like to sit. The computer chair that I have has a rather wide backrest, and Orkid loves to climb up there and sit. It's not very wide but she fits ok. She does, however, like to wrap her front paws around it with her claws out, and she looks like she's hanging on for dear life.

Here's a picture of her sitting on the backrest of my chair.


Can you identify the plush on the mantle in the background?


Here's a close-up of her. She doesn't have her claws quite dug in as much as she sometimes does.





Because there are so many things in the stocking, she doesn't get them all at once. She'll usually get a couple when it's new, and then the rest get put away, to be doled out to her over the course of the year or longer, depending on when we think about it. When she does have toys out, we do have a "toy box" for her. It's just a cardboard box that's big enough for her to root around in. Everyone once in a while, I'll go through the house and pick up her toys and toss them in the box. She can jump in there, and sometimes, she just plays in the box itself, but otherwise, she can grab whatever toy she wants to play with and bring it out of the box. It's funny sometimes to see the things she wants to play with. She'll have her favorites for a while, and then sometimes, we'll see something that was brought out that she hasn't played with for a while, and neither the husband nor I took it out of the box for her.

See, I've gone full circle to Boxing Day! :)

finding a home for my Little Boxes of Joy

So as much as I love my Little Boxes of Joy, one problem I still need to solve is how to display them. At the moment, most of them are still in a shopping bag, separated set-by-set and grouped together by style. I still have one case that I haven't opened yet because I have to be careful as I think the individual boxes can be put together to make that sushi kaiten bar that I was so excitedly looking for, and I haven't had the time to do all of that. But, I don't want them to just be in the shopping bag, and really, I'm not even going to want them separated. During one session when I was opening a bunch of boxes (and the husband was helping me), I had a lot of sets open at once, and it was fun mixing all the stuff together. One set came with four oysters on the half-shell, so I was putting those everywhere - on the barbeque grill, in the cookie jar with the biscotti, in the coffee machine, with ice cream. If I want to be able to put a set back together, I still have the leaflet that comes with each set so I know what pieces came in any particular set.

Some time ago, a friend sent me a link to this article, which has a suggestion with pictures of one way to display miniatures similiar to my Little Boxes of Joy. I like them to some degree, though I do find the look a bit cluttered with them strewn randomly on the wall. The effect of having individual rooms is kind of interesting, but I'm not sure that would work with my current collection, which is all cooked food, and I'd also prefer the rooms to not be quite as deep. Once I eventually expand into some of the other lines (like the grocery store and the nursery, if that's still around at the time), the division of rooms would probably work better. The major problem I would have, though, is that the displays seem very static, especially since most are high up and not easily accessible to change. With my current lines of Little Boxes of Joy, I don't want them to be set and unchanging - I'm going to want to change out different foods and such, so the elevated height would be inconvenient for me.

Ideally, I'd like to just have all of them out on a table or counter or something like that, where I could rearrange stuff whenever the whim hit me. However, the major problem with that would be the Godzilla-wannabe that we have at home, otherwise known as Orkid. She is not allowed anywhere near my Little Boxes of Joy when they're out of the boxes, because at best, she would want to bat them around and chase them, and at worst, she would eat them. And most of the food is small enough that she'd have no problem eating them. She probably wouldn't eat the barbeque grill or the big cakes (though she'd definitely gnaw on them), but the sushi and the tacos and the little pastries would just be bite-sized morsels to her. I've thought about using a higher shelf to put all the sets on, but the problem is still accessibility. Orkid can jump from the floor to a shelf that is at least eye-level to me, so what would be accessible to me as far as being able to see it well and move stuff around would be accessible for her to jump to straight from the floor.

The picture in the article does give me an idea, though. Re-ment does sell a sort of one-room house that you can decorate yourself by putting in whatever you want. I've seen it in person, but I can't remember if it's a fully enclosed box or whether it's open on the side that's supposed to be a window. If it is fully enclosed, that would solve the problem of keeping access away from Orkid, and I could get a couple to stack together. At the moment, the only accessory I have is a pastry display cabinet. I didn't have enough similar food to be able to properly set a table so I didn't allow myself to buy any of the tables yet, but I've got lots of little food now. The bigger dining table is what I really want, but I also like the smaller cafe tables too. The next time I'm at my go-to Re-ment store, I'll have to take a better look at the housing accessory.

If the housing unit ends up not being secure enough to withstand Orkid, the only other solution I can think of is that I do have one small shelf that's a little higher than eye-level to me, but I can get to it easily with a step stool. It should be high enough that she can't jump to it from the ground or from any nearby counter, so as long as I remember not to leave the step stool where she can use it, I should be ok. She hasn't shown any interest in that shelf in a long time. I used to have a fish, and that's where he and his fishbowl sat, away from Orkid's prying paws and teeth, but his swimming around would catch her attention. Since my little sets of food shouldn't be moving on their own, she shouldn't even notice them. The only way they would be moving and subject to her eating them is if they got jostled enough in an earthquake to fall off the shelf, but then I figure if we have an earthquake bad enough to make them fall off the shelf, that means we've got way bigger problems than Orkid eating my miniature sushi.

black and white (cats, that is)

I have come to the realization that while I say that my favorite kitties are calicos, I can't really say I love them all that much because I haven't had any vague connection to a calico since a kitty I had when I was probably about 8. What I apparently really have an affinity for are black and white cats. I came to notice that many of the cats I like and associate with are black and white. And I think I've come across the "culprit" that's the source.




What? You don't know who that is? Why, it's Pussyfoot, of course! Seriously, you *still* don't know who she is? *big sigh* Yeah, I know, lots of people don't know who she is, and many of those who do happen to know *who* she is don't know her name. She is a Warner Bros. character, created by Chuck Jones, that appears in only a few cartoon shorts and is barely marketed, so I suppose it's understandable to some degree that she's not well known, but *I* know who she is, so I'm not sure what everyone else's excuse is. In any case, once you've seen her, how can you not fall in love with her? (Oh, by the way, the dog that's always with her is Marc Antony.)


Here's "Feed The Kitty", her first short. Yes, it's the one with the cookie.





"Kiss Me Cat" - In this short, you actually hear her being referred to as "Pussyfoot". However, I'm also noticing that they keep referring to Pussyfoot as a "him", but I've always considered the cat a "her". Maybe I just like female cats better and so pretty much assume "her" - no matter what. So, beyond all evidence to the contrary, I'm going to keep referring to "her". In any case, this has the wagging finger bit, the chariot, and best of all, Pussyfoot's new look.





"Cat Feud" - This short has her with a different dog, who still looks a bit like Marc Antony but is a different color. It's funny to watch her hiss at the other cat.





She's in another short that I kind of vaguely remember but I can't find it on youtube, but youtube does have yet another short with her, but I watched part of it and don't like it, so I'm not including it here.


If you've ever seen the Pixar animated film "Monsters, Inc.", you may or may not know that there's a connection to Pussyfoot. (I love the movie for lots of other reasons anyway, but this was just an extra little gem.) There's a scene when Sulley is trying to hide Boo where Boo ends up in a trash can, the contents of which gets dumped into the trash chute. Sulley thinks that Boo has been dumped along with the other trash, but unbeknownst to him, she had already climbed out, leaving one of her "antenna", which is why he thinks she's still there. He watches as the trash is crushed and flattened and made into a cube. (And yes, the cube trash made me think of Wall-E, also a Pixar creation. Hmmm...) He melts as he watches all of this through a window and is very sad when the finished cube comes out but then rejoices when it turns out Boo is still alive. This entire sequence is an homage to the "Feed The Kitty" segment when the woman makes the cookies and Marc Antony thinks Pussyfoot has been mixed in. When we saw that part of "Monsters, Inc.", the husband and I were laughing hysterically, and yeah, when we told people about it, they stared at us like we had two heads. Each. And then there are the other people who claim Pixar stole that segment from Warner Bros. Because, you know, they don't know a tribute when they see one. I also think it's funny that Pussyfoot is often just referred to as "kitty", which is exactly Boo's nickname for Sulley.


Someone has put together footage from both "Feed The Kitty" and "Monsters, Inc." so the comparison can be better seen.





Here's a collection of some of Pussyfoot's looks. Isn't she adorable? Yeah, I know, it's the eyes.





As I mentioned, Pussyfoot is not a character that is marketed much, but years ago, back when the Warner Bros. stores were still in existence, they had some porcelain figures, and one day, I saw that they had an armchair with Marc Antony on it, with Pussyfoot perched on top. Wow! Merchandise with Pussyfoot and a really cute one at that! I looked at it for a while, walked around the store and kept going back to look at it. I finally asked for them to take it out of the case so I could see it better. (The husband, SO at the time, said that as soon as I asked them to take it out, he knew it was coming home with me.) And then they showed me that the bottom of the armchair had a secret drawer you could pull out - and in the drawer is the kitty cookie from "Feed The Kitty". That sealed the deal. I had to have it. I absolutely love that piece, and as much a Disney fan as I am, it would probably surprise a lot of people that my most prized and treasured possession is not a Disney property, but rather, this object from Warner Bros.


A number of years ago, on a trip to Magic Mountain, I actually found the cutest t-shirt with Pussyfoot on it. One problem - it was only available in kids' sizes. But I couldn't pass it up, so I bought it, and my giant Thumper plush wears it.


In recent years, Pussyfoot has been marketed a little more, and a friend surprised me one year for my birthday with a cute pillow with Pussyfoot on it. She also told me that there was a whole bedding set as well, which I went looking for.




The pillow on the floor is the one she gave me, and I bought just the comforter from this set.


And then another year for my birthday, the same friend gave me one of the best presents I've ever gotten.




Oh. My. Goodness. Cuteness overload.




Another cat that I'm incredibly fond of is Disney's Figaro, who is probably best known as being in the film "Pinocchio" but is also in some Disney shorts as well.

Here's what she looks like in an Armani piece that the husband got me for my birthday a few years ago.





And here's what she looks like from Robert Olszewski's Storytime Collection.





Here are two other Figaro pieces I have. No, they're not my pictures, and I have no idea what the deal is with the water/lake.










Another well-known black and white cat is Felix, who I'm not as fixated on as Pussyfoot or Figaro, but I still watched his cartoons all the time, and I loved his bag of tricks.







And then, we get to real-life cats. Our cat Orkid is - wait for it - black and white!


On her first day home, she was exploring, and she apparently liked being under my chair.





Here she is next to the Screamin' coaster toy from Disney's California Adventure and the remote control R2-D2, so you can get an idea of her size if you know those items.





I liked how the lighting fell on her face.





Though she doesn't do it as much anymore, she likes sitting in one of the sinks in the master bedroom/bath. She doesn't like it as much if you actually turn the faucet on, even a little.





She loves rustling around in bags and boxes. She decided to hide in this Disney bag.





Here she is, snuggled up with Q, which must be mortifying for him.





One of the more recent photos of her - yeah, I know, I've included it in a blog post before, but I just really love this picture of her.

Ummm, ewwwww

This is from today's Dear Margo column.

DEAR MARGO: I am just holding on by a thread. I have been with my fiance for 12 years now. We have been engaged for two years because I can't seem to get him to grow up. His mother has her claws in him in every way possible, and it drives me crazy the way she manipulates him. I love him a great deal, but if he doesn't grow up, and fast, I will walk away from everything we've built together. He calls his mother "baby" and "honey," and the few times we three have been together, he would start his sentence with "baby," and we both would answer. I guess I just really want to know if it's time for me to walk away because I know some things aren't going to change. I honestly believe that if I were to suggest he choose, I would definitely lose. He is not the only child. His older brother lives closer to the mother than we do, but because the other brother doesn't fall for her tripe, she has my home in turmoil. Is it time to cut the apron strings?

--- MISS V.


DEAR MISS: Twelve years is a long time to go with somebody, hon, and I fear it may be too late to cut the apron strings. Things sound as though they are at the point where you have to stick it to him: Either you'll need to see some changes, or the romance is off. If you lose, as you predict, you won't have lost much because a guy who can't detach from his mother is going to be a source of grief forever. I agree that this taffy pull of a romance needs a serious re-do or a termination.

Who in the hell calls their *MOTHER* "baby" and/or "honey"?!??!!?!?!?

I get a parent calling a child that, though I think it would still be a little weird for a parent to call their adult child "baby", except in very limited circumstances. (But, then I object strenuously to being still referred to as the "baby of the family". Ummm, yeah, I'm the youngest, but I haven't been a baby, nor I have *been* "babied" in a long time, thankyouverymuch. But I digress.) But under what circumstances would a child start calling his/her mother "baby" and "honey"? From repeating after someone else? Maybe, but then doesn't the child get corrected? Doesn't the use of that term in that circumstance scream "inappropriate relationship" to anyone other than me? I do happen to use the term "baby girl", but that's with my cat, and even though she's a grown cat, she sometimes still acts really cute and kittenish, which is when I tend to call her that. But did I mention that she's a CAT? I think I would stand dumbfounded if I *ever* heard any of my friends address their mother as "baby" or "honey". "Whisky Tango Foxtrot is the matter with you?", I would be thinking (and hopefully not saying out loud).

I'm also amazed that this woman has put up with this for so long and *still* doesn't know what to do about it. Now, I certainly know that when you're in a relationship, you might put up with things because you have blinders on and you don't really see the answer that's staring you right in the face. But, in this case, seriously? She has to ask someone whether she should stay in this relationship? The *first* time he called his mother "baby", she didn't flip out?

The mother certainly sounds like a gem herself (how many mothers would *allow* their children to call them "baby"?), but I find it interesting that the letter writer seems to be mostly blaming the mother, and not her fiance. Ummm, hello, the mother isn't just interfering, but your fiance is allowing and even ENCOURAGING it! And you don't know if you should leave him? "but if he doesn't grow up, and fast", she writes. Fast? How fast? Two years fast? TWELVE YEARS fast? What in the hell are you waiting for?

kittens, kittens, kittens

I'm feeling a little off and having serious writer's block at the moment, so to address both problems, I'm just going to show you some of my favorite youtube videos with kittens.


This one is my absolute favorite. I love the little kitten in the box as well as the ones trying to get in. Too cute.





This little baby is really sweet. You have to watch with the sound on.





This one is just really funny with the kitten falling asleep. She's also doing the kneading thing that Orkid still does, even as an adult.





This one is funny because a little kitten is being terrorized by a bunny.





And just for good measure, here's a picture of Orkid on the first day we brought her home, when she was just a couple months old.

Go Fish

I can't even remember where I heard about a Fish 'n Flush Toilet-Tank Aquarium, but it sounded like a really odd idea. I know that people like to decorate their bathrooms, and I think that having a phone and big screen TV and such in the bathroom is a little weird, but live animals? If I walked into random person's house and had to use their bathroom and was greeted with goldfish or whatever swimming around in the toilet tank, I would seriously be surprised.

I would think that a fish toilet tank aquarium would be more interesting to men than women since women would really not get to look at it much, whereas men would be more likely to be facing the tank. But I know that men (and boys) can be curious and weird - what if they were to decide to "aim" for the fish? Ewwww.

And what if one of the fish died? One of the ways people get rid of dead fish is to flush them down the toilet. I think it would be weird to just move a fish from the tank to the bowl, though I guess it would be extremely convenient.

I think Orkid might enjoy it during the times she's allowed in the bathroom. I'd think she'd want to stand on the seat and chase the little fishies around. I'd be concerned that she'd just terrorize the living daylights out of them. On the one hand, I'm not sure they have enough brain cells to be scared of her, but then I'm also remembering that as a kid, my brother had aquariums with big fish for whom we'd have to get feeder fish, and I remember one time seeing one feeder fish who was cowering in a corner among some fake plants trying to hide. No, I'm not making it up and imbuing it with human feelings. (I can't remember how to spell the word that means that, and I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment.) It looked terrified. It also had bite marks on its fins and tail, so I'm assuming it was about to be lunch or dinner and managed to get away for the time being, but it was scared enough to know what its fate was going to be. And the next time I looked, fishie was gone. Gulp.

I think the tag line for the product is pretty funny though:

"A whimsical potty that turns your toilet into a nautical wonderland."

"Nautical wonderland". Hey, that would be a good name for a band!

"Wall-E" and Peter Gabriel

I'd heard a little while ago about Peter Gabriel's involvement with music/songs on "Wall-E", and I'd watched the videocast referenced in the article, so I'm just passing along the news to anyone who hasn't heard. Here's the article. The video is worth watching to see and hear Peter talk about his working with director Andrew Stanton and his involvement with the film. You can also listen to him talk about how he broke his leg skiing as well as the cool car people he hangs out with. Those who know me know how excited I am to hear about Peter being involved with this film.

So I'm passing along good and informative info without requiring that I do too much thinking or be too coherent since I've been up since about 3am because Orkid needed attention.

I need a nap.

As the husband said: You did better than Bean.

Well, I'm actually on a jury. It's supposed to last a couple days. I'm not entirely happy about it, but I'm not mad either. Work is pretty busy right now, so I'm having to do what I can to scramble on things (I hadn't entirely prepared for being out - I was hoping not to be or at least not for more than just today), and one of my co-workers is having to cover for me. On the other hand, I'm figuring on taking advantage of having a shorter "work day" by running errands.

We got let out shortly before 4pm today, so I drove to the nearest DMV. I've done my last two driver's license renewals by mail, so I had to actually go in this time. It wasn't too bad. When I checked in, they gave me a number (G314). They have TV screens around the office to tell you when your number is being called and what window to report to (it was almost like being in Las Vegas with the Keno games, having people stare at the screens with these letters and numbers going by). Some unintelligible recorded voice was also reading off the numbers and window assignments. I ended up waiting about 15 minutes before my number came out. I paid my fee, signed various documents, took the short vision test and then went to have my picture taken. Ugh, I hate DMV pictures. Might as well be mug shots. They made me take my glasses off because the guy said the flash bounces and everyone looks like Casper. I thought that was funny. But the flash was so frickin' bright - I swear when I was done and put my glasses back on and was leaving, I could see spots in front of my eyes. They had also had me sign electronically and do a thumb print. I don't remember doing a thumb print previously. Does that show up on your license now? Or do they just keep it as a database for government/police use, or what do they do with it? The license is supposed to be mailed to me in 2 or 3 weeks.

Orkid is due for a dental appointment, so rather than me having to take a day off to do that, I'm doing it over the next couple days. Her vet is closer to home, but I work on the other side of the city, so with my hours and the drive time and the hours of the vet's office, there's no way I can normally drop her off and then go to work and then be able to leave work in time to pick her up before the office closes. And they only do dental appointments from Tuesday through Friday. So I'm going to bring her in Friday morning and drop her off for her dental appointment and then pick her up after I'm done in the afternoon. She needs to go in the day before so they can draw blood and do bloodwork to make sure she's ok for the dental stuff, so I'm taking her in tomorrow afternoon after I'm done with court.


So, Orkid has learned to be terrified of her carrier, since most of the time we use it, it's to take her to the vet, which she hates. They're really nice to her, and they think she's really sweet, but she's petrified of being there, probably because they're strangers and they poke and prod at her. I've learned that I need to take the carrier out ahead of time, because there's no way I'm getting her into it otherwise. As soon as she sees it, she runs. I just took out the carrier in preparation for tomorrow. Orkid had been napping on the nearby sofa, but when she saw/heard me take the carrier out and unlatch it, she bolted upstairs, probably to hide. I don't think she's figured out yet that when I take it out, it doesn't mean she's going then and there, so running doesn't help. She's not going to be too happy with me tomorrow when I come home, scoop her up and put her in the carrier and then take her to the vet so they can get blood from her. She's going to be even unhappier on Friday morning when she gets put in the carrier to be taken to the vet's and left there all day.