"Star Wars: Attack of the Clones" - April 2023 review

Next step in the journey.  Here was the first step - The Phantom Menace.

The poor decoy for Senator Amidala is killed in an attack while the real Padme is in a fighter with R2.  Did / do all the queens and senators have decoys, or just Padme?  Rough job being her handmaiden.  "We are brave."  Indeed.

The Jedi are just "keeping the peace".  That sounds so different now.  "We're not picking sides."  Dudes, sometimes, you *have* to pick sides, or you're just letting the bad side take advantage.  But which is the correct side?  The separatists or the current government?

Padme suspects that Count Dooku is behind her assassination attempt, but Mace says he would never do that, because he used to be a Jedi.  Hmmm, that’s not really a good enough reason, Mace.

Count Dooku was once a Jedi?  I forgot about that.  I only remembered that he's also secretly a Sith.  How was he able to no longer be a Jedi?  Yes, I know Ahsoka was a padawan / Jedi and then she wasn't, but we didn't know about her yet at the time that we found out Dooku was a former Jedi.  So did Dooku become Darth Tyranus when Maul died, so there are always two?

It's been 10 years since the events of "The Phantom Menace".  Obi-Wan is sent to protect Padme, and Anakin goes along.  It's the first time he's seen her in 10 years.

Anakin shows defiance just like Qui-Gonn did.  He's determined to protect Padme and find whomever wanted to kill her.

Caught that bit where Obi-Wan and Anakin were talking about politicians, and Anakin says that the Chancellor (Palpatine) seems ok.  Ahhh, the courtship has already begun.

I remember liking the character of Zam Wesell.  Cool outfit too.  She was the assassin hired to kill Amidala.

Anakin has been fixated on Padme for 10 years, starting when he was that little?  That's ... disturbing.

Those poison worms are creepy.  I wonder what they were supposed to do, bite you to expel their poison or crawl into you like those creepy things in "Star Trek:  Wrath of Khan".

Anakin uses his speeder to catch a falling Obi-Wan, who did a pretty good job hanging onto that probe for as long as he did.  Anakin does a similar drop-in to Zam's ship.

For her safety, Padme has to go into hiding and temporarily gives up her senator seat to Jar Jar.  So they only want to kill her specifically?  Jar Jar isn't going to be in danger in the senator job?

Aww, those younglings were so cute.  First time we saw such little ones, other than little Anakin.  Let's not think about the implications of young children being taken away from their families to be trained into what is essentially a cult.  They did that to Natasha with the widow-makers in the Avengers too.

Obi-Wan cannot find Kamino, the water planet (all these one-climate planets...), in the charts.  Yoda deduces that their removal from the charts had to have been done by a Jedi.  It seems like that prospect should worry them more than it appears to.  Seems like that would be a big deal.

With Anakin on Padme's security team, he bristles when she knows what she wants with regard to security, shooting down what he was going to suggest.  Dude, it's her planet, she was queen and is now a senator, and she knows her planet.  I can't tell if he's just generally annoyed at being overridden or if he's specifically annoyed that he can't show off for her.

Oh, right, Obi-Wan's hyperspace ring.  I've wanted that since I first saw it.  I don't know if they ever actually released a toy like that.

Obi-Wan heads to Kamino and unexpectedly finds a sort of welcoming committee.  He plays along to find out what's going on.  They say that the clone army was ordered by Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas on behalf of the Jedi Council, but Obi-Wan says he was killed 10 years prior.

Padme has a ton of pretty dresses in this film, but I think that faded rainbow one is my favorite.  It's really gorgeous.

At Star Wars Celebration in 2019 in Chicago, I happened upon an impromptu gathering of women in various of Padme's dresses.  They were wonderful to see.

 

Obi-Wan gets taken on a tour of the clone farm and is told that they've been genetically engineered to be less independent, easier to take orders.  The operation is run by Jango Fett, who is also used as the donor for the clones.  Jango had one request though - he wanted one unaltered clone, who he then raised as his son, Boba Fett.  Jango says that he was recruited by Tyranus, who we know is Count Dooku.  So is Count Dooku the one who erased Kamino from the Jedi library?  Or was that Sifo-Dyas?

Great way for Temuera Morrison to make his entrance into the Star Wars universe.  And Daniel Logan as little Boba Fett.

On the subject of Padme's outfits, her leather bustier is a far cry from Carrie Fisher having her breasts taped down in the original Star Wars because there was no jiggling in space.

As Padme and Anakin discuss their budding relationship, it's interesting that Padme is all reason, for why they can't be together, while Anakin is all emotion, about why they should be together.  Padme's training as queen of Naboo and then senator has taught her how to control her emotions and to think logically.  Anakin's training to be a Jedi should have done the same, but he's missed a few lessons in those areas.  He's got way more fire in him than you'd expect from a trained Jedi.  Though I guess his excuse is that he's still a padawan.

Interesting discussion between Yoda and Mace Windu about the Jedi's diminishing ability to use the Force, given that they didn't sense the presence of the clone army, and that only the Sith know about this fact.  I wonder where that was supposed to go and what it was supposed to imply, because I don't think they take up that subject again.  Unless it's just a throwaway line to explain how an entire army was created without them knowing about it, not to mention the presence of Darth Maul, and Darth Sidious and Darth Tyranus for that matter.  Really falling down on the job, guys.

Anakin has a nightmare about Shmi and decides he needs to go rescue her.  Wonder how long he's been having them.

So I guess Obi-Wan made himself a new lightsabre, and it's blue again.  What did he do with Qui Gonn's lightsabre?

In Obi-Wan's fight with Jango, why doesn't he use a Force push?  Wouldn't that dispatch Jango faster?  See, still need to know the rules about Force push and why they don't just use them all the time.

Anakin returns to Tattoine and Watto tells him that he sold Shmi to Cliegg Lars, who is a farmer, and Cliegg married her.  So Cliegg bought himself a wife.  Not sure how I feel about that.  I guess it was a better life for Shmi?  I presume she had the choice to stay or leave, to marry him or not?

Obi-Wan follows Jango to Geonosis after he put a tracker on Slave I.

Anakin and Padme go to the Lars homestead and meet Owen (Cliegg's son) and Beru, Owen's girlfriend.  Oh, so Uncle Owen really is Luke's uncle, since Anakin and Owen are sort of brothers by the marriage of their parents.  Anakin arrived just too late though, as he is told that Shmi was taken by Tusken Raiders only a month prior.  Maybe he started having nightmares about her after she was kidnapped.

The Trade Federation Viceroy and Count Dooku are at the battle droid factory on Geonosis.  So the battle droids are for the Trade Federation.

But Count Dooku is playing both sides of the fight?  He recruited Jango to make the clones for the Republic, but he's also overseeing the production of the battle droids for the Trade Federation.  He's arming both sides of the coming war.

Anakin finds Shmi, but it's too late as she dies in his arms.  He's so angry and can't control it, resulting in him slaughtering the entire tribe.  He eventually confesses the murder to Padme.  The look on her face as he's telling her.  But then I guess she lets it go?  I mean, she looks horrified as he's telling her, but then she changes and seems to soften and then goes to comfort him.  I get he was angry and why he was angry, but that seems like a lot for her to just smooth over.  Nice use of the Imperial March theme in that scene.

Mace tells Anakin to protect Padme, but it's clear that Obi-Wan needs help, but Anakin refuses to leave her.  Padme basically forces his hand by deciding that she's going to help Obi-Wan, so Anakin has to go with her.  All of Padme's stubbornness was passed down straight to Leia.

As acting senator, Jar Jar is manipulated into calling for a vote to give Chancellor Palpatine emergency powers to authorize the creation of the clones, after the fact, since they're already in the process of being made.  Oh, that's why he wasn't in danger of being killed, because he was going to be easy to manipulate.

Qui Gonn was Count Dooku's apprentice.  Count Dooku tells Obi-Wan about corruption in the Imperial Senate and how Darth Sidious is controlling multiple senators.  Is Count Dooku's influence what made Qui Gonn rebellious against the Jedi Council?  And why is Count Dooku telling Obi-Wan this and asking Obi-Wan to join him in destroying the Sith when Count Dooku is a secret Sith?  Is he just sowing discord and suspicion everywhere?

On Geonosis, when Padme falls onto the manufacturing assembly line, her avoiding all the various mechanisms was like running the gauntlet in Galaxy Quest.

Anakin and Padme in the gladiator arena reminded me of the Hunger Games.  But why do they have an arena for this?  Is it something that happens often?  What are those creatures kept around for?

Three dangerous creatures are unleashed on the trio.  Anakin manages to sort of tame the horned dude and helps Padme with the kitty while Obi-Wan gets away from crabbie. Aww, I liked that kitty, much like I like the rancor in "Return of the Jedi".  I want that kitty.

The fight between the Jedi and the battle droids was pretty awesome.  Hard to keep track of all the lightsabres and colors though.

Why don't all the Jedi use Force push against the battle droids?  Yep, still fixated on the Force push.

Mace killed Jango, which Boba sees.  Aww, poor kid.  That would not make him fond of Jedi.

Yoda and the clones arrive.  When I first saw this, my head exploded from seeing Yoda commanding troopers.  And then, we're supposed to be rooting for stormtroopers.  How weird is that, given the events of the original trilogy?

So the Geonosians originally designed the Death Star and were planning to build it?  Then when that didn’t work, the Empire did it themselves and then brought Galen Erso in to help?

I want Yoda's lightsabre.  I'd totally buy that if they offered it at Dok's.

Count Dooku escapes and reports back to Darth Sidious, who is pleased with the news.  Seeds of discontent and disruption have been sown on both sides.

So they're preparing for a war.  But who are we supposed to root for?  Generally, I guess we'd root for the Republic since that appears to be the side that the Jedi are backing, but we know that the Senate is controlled by the nefarious Chancellor Palpatine.  If we root against the Republic, then we'd be rooting for the separatists, who are led by the Trade Federation, and we were already rooting against them in the prior film.  But we also know that the Trade Federation is aligned with Count Dooku, and that ultimately, control goes to Darth Sidious aka Chancellor Palpatine.  I think that's why I find this movie so confusing, every time I saw it when it initially came out, and even during this re-watch.  You don't know who to root for because there really isn't any side to root for.  Palpatine is controlling both sides of the war.  Even the Jedi are misguided.

So at the end, when Anakin and Padme get married, I remember the third time we saw it was with a particular set of friends.  After the movie, they were marvelling at Anakin's metal hand.  We were confused because we'd seen the metal hand every time.  This was the friends' first time seeing a digital version of the film (remember when digital was a thing that wasn't very available?), and they said that when they'd seen the regular version of the film, it was just his hand.  And we remembered that George Lucas, infamous for never wanting to finish a movie, was still messing with the film right up until release.  The film versions had to be finished first because they needed to be duplicated and distributed to theatres, but he could work on the digital version right up until the end, so if you saw a digital screening of the film, you saw Anakin's metal hand, but if you saw a regular filmed version, you didn't.  At least that's my understanding since I never saw his regular hand because the three times we saw the film during its initial release, it was a digital screening.