Monday, October 11, 2010

I'm a dumb wife

I don't know when it happened. I don't think it happened all at once. I think it was more gradual. And I've known about it for a while now. But, I think it's time to admit it publicly.

I have become a dumb wife.

There are the simplest things that I don't know how to do because I haven't had to, because the husband takes care of it.

Now, I haven't always been this way. For many, many years, I did things myself. Sure, I'd need the occasional help, but otherwise, I'm perfectly capable of planning and booking trips. I did it many times. But that particular muscle has APPARENTLY atrophied.

Today, I looked at planning a very short solo trip. OK, I figured out when my departing and returning flights could be. That wasn't so hard. But then, I came to the hard part - transportation. And I realized that I've never had a rental car before, at least not while on vacation. Sure, I've had to get rental cars on occasion when my car has been in the shop or otherwise unavailable. Not a problem, never been an issue. But when I've been on vacation, I realized that I've never gotten a rental car before. I've been to places where having a car was actually more of a burden since parking was an issue and there was public transportation aplenty so getting around was pretty easy. I've been to places where I could have used a rental car, but it wasn't completely necessary or vital, so I chose not to splurge on the rental and found other means to get around instead. I've been to places where the husband or someone else was driving a car. And I've been to places where I had my own car since I drove there instead of flying. There was one occasion when I would have had to get a rental car, when I had planned to go to Pennsylvania - Hershey, to be exact - but those plans had to be changed because of circumstances, and I ended up going to New York instead.

I know it's not hard to have a rental car. I've seen the husband do it. Like I said, I've had a rental at home. So I'm not sure why I feel some anxiety at the thought of having a rental car on my own out of town. It can't be that hard. I speak English. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I have a phone that gives me access to pretty much everything, so even if something happened, like the car broke down, it's not like I'd be stranded somewhere with no means to obtain help.

Maybe it's the actual driving around that worries me. Having a rental car at home is one thing because I'm still driving to places that are familiar to me. When I've driven somewhere else in my own car, at least there's the familiarity of being in my own car, and I'm usually prepared with maps and such. The thought of being in an unfamiliar location in an unfamiliar car and being responsible for getting myself wherever I need to go seems to make me nervous. Usually, it's the husband who's driving in that circumstance, and while I might lend some assistance in looking at the GPS or whatever, it's not just me trying to figure out how to get where I need to go. But even then, again, it can't be that hard. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. This should not be that daunting a task.

There's a tiny part of me that feels a little bit of anxiety about the flights themselves. I have flown solo several times in the last few years, but usually, the husband and I are going somewhere together. But again, I know how the whole flying thing works. Just because I'm not flying with someone shouldn't make a difference.

Except that I have to now fight NOT to be a dumb wife.

I'm not entirely sure yet whether I'll actually be making the trip. It really depends on circumstances and whether timing and scheduling work out. But, even though I feel some trepidation, I'm pushing through them. "Dumb wife" syndrome should not stop me from visiting friends.

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